


All Of My Stars

by secretsidgenowriter



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Dad Sid, Fluff, Kid Fic, M/M, Pediatrician Geno
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:13:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 24,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27742069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/secretsidgenowriter/pseuds/secretsidgenowriter
Summary: “You are my sun, my moon, and all of my stars.” E.E Cummings
Relationships: Sidney Crosby/Evgeni Malkin
Comments: 24
Kudos: 280





	1. Chapter 1

Sid hates and loves sitting in the pediatrician's waiting room in equal measure.

He hates that he has to be there, or, he hates that Eloise needs to be there even though he knows it’s for her own good. Babies need so many vaccinations during their first few months of life. She’s been poked and prodded more times than Sid can count and she absolutely hates it. She waits and squirms and looks at Sid with her big, watery eyes like she’s disappointed in him. Like he’s let her down. It breaks his heart and right now there’s no way for him to tell her that it has to be done, that he’s actually protecting her in the long run. 

The other part is that Eloise has no idea what’s going to happen. She has no idea where she is. Right now she’s babbling happily in her car seat waving a teether around and trying to eat her toes. Her world will go from simple to terrifying with the poke of a needle and there’s nothing Sid can do about it. 

On the other hand, the anonymity of it all is nice. No one cares about him here. The other parents are too busy entertaining their own children or flipping through old magazines. For the first time in a long time Sid walked into a room in Pittsburgh and heads didn’t turn. 

As it turns out, the pediatrician’s office waiting room is the great equalizer. 

Eloise tosses her teether on the ground and Sid reaches down to pick it up when the door that leads back to the exam rooms open and a nurse steps out. 

She looks young and chipper with a high ponytail and bright pink scrubs. 

“Mr. Crosby,” she says brightly and a few heads around the room pick up. He’s suddenly glad that the Pens released a statement on his behalf when the adoption finally went through. 

“That’s me,” Sid says as he quickly shoves the floor teether into the diaper bag and picks up the car seat. 

The nurse smiles and waves him back. 

Her name is Caroline and while Sid is sure she’s very well qualified he still sits on the edge of his seat, full of nerves, as she lifts Eloise out of her car seat to take her weight and temperature. 

“She’s beautiful,” Caroline says as she hands Eloise over to Sid. 

Sid protectively cradles her in his lap and says “thank you,” instead of “I know.”

“Dr. Malkin will be right in,” Caroline tells him as she slips out the door and closes it softly behind her. 

Sid bounces Eloise gently while they wait. 

“It’s gonna be okay,” he tells her as he reaches into the diaper bag for a clean toy for her to play with. She reaches for it and waves it around, accidentally smacking Sid in the face and giggling when he reacts. 

Right now, Sid’s more nervous than she is even though he knows he has no reason to be. 

For the past two months Eloise has been seeing Sid’s own childhood doctor in Cole Harbour. Dr. Paxton is a kind, portly faced family doctor that Sid trusts implicitly but he’s back in Canada and Sid and Eloise are not. She’s going to need a doctor. 

Sid had a minor freak out trying to someone until Tanger stepped in and recommended Alex’s pediatrician, Dr. Evgeni Malkin. 

Sid did plenty of research, extensively Googling Dr. Malkin’s credentials, and was impressed with what he found. Plus, he figured that if he was good enough for Alex Letang he was good enough for Eloise Crosby. 

Sid’s in the middle of reading a poster about the guidelines as to when a sick child should stay home from school and when they’re ready to return when the door opens and Dr. Malkin walks in. 

He’s tall and young—not as young as Caroline—but still young and he takes one look at Eloise and tosses the folder he's holding onto the counter so he can clap his hands over his heart. 

“Aww, baby,” he says, accent thick. “All morning has been toddlers and preteens. Is good to see a real little. Am Evgeni Malkin,” he says, looking at Sid. He holds his hand out and Sid fumbles, unsure how to shake it while still supporting Eloise. She can’t sit up on her own quite yet. Dr. Malkin must realize that because he holds his second hand out and gestures to Eloise. “Can I take,” he asks and Sid nods and moves to hand her over.

Dr. Malkin lifts Eloise from Sid’s lap like he’s picking up a sack of flour. Like she’s unbreakable. Like there’s nothing to worry about. 

Sid’s been around children his whole life, from Taylor to his cousin’s kids to Mario’s to his teammate’s. He knows they’re tougher than they look and their bodies are designed to handle whatever nonsense they get themselves into. He’s held babies just like Dr. Malkin is holding Eloise and has been perfectly confident in doing so. But it’s different now. This is his daughter and she’s just so small…

“We here for six month check up, yes,” Dr. Malkin asks as Eloise makes grabby hands toward his tie. It’s crazy and ugly, alternating yellow and orange stripes and it’s just a touch too wide but Eloise seems absolutely captivated by it. 

“Umm, yeah,” Sid says. “We had been going to a different doctor over the summer but now that we’re back in Pittsburgh…” He trails off as Dr. Malkin sets Eloise down on the exam table. She sits on her own for a few seconds before slowly tipping to the side and Dr. Malkin laughs as he catches her and sets her right again. “I asked them to send you her records. Did you get them?”

“Yes,” Dr. Malkin says, nodding to the folder on the counter. “Was looking at them before I came in. You have very healthy baby here.”

“That’s good,” Sid says, breathing a sigh of relief even though he already knew that.

“That’s great!” Dr. Malkin says, pulling a funny face that makes Eloise full on laugh. “She do a lot?”

“What? Laugh? I guess so. I mean, I try to make her laugh as much as possible. Sometimes she thinks I’m funny and sometimes she doesn’t.”

Dr. Malkin smiles and nods. He pulls a pen out of his coat pocket then holds Eloise against his chest with one arm so he can reach out for the folder with the other. It makes Sid anxious even though Eloise is still fully supported and before he can ask if he’d like for him to hold her, Dr. Malkin is seated again and Eloise is sitting up in his lap. 

“My teammate Kris Letang recommended me to you. You see his son, Alex.”

“Yes, of course, Alex. Very sweet kid.”

“He takes after his mother,” Sid says quickly and Dr. Malkin laughs. 

“Am glad you say,” he says, “also glad I get to take care of two penguin babies.” He tickles Eloise’s tummy “You have any questions about me? Would be happy to answer. I know some parents are a little nervous when they see new doctor, even with recommendation.”

“Oh, I feel like I pretty much know it all,” Sid says and Dr. Malkin’s eyebrows shoot up. “I Googled. I didn’t realize how creepy that was until just now.”

“No, no, not creepy,” Dr. Malkin assures. “Is very thorough. Responsible. Save us all some time. Now I can get straight to taking care of this little girl.”

Dr. Malkin asks some basic questions and runs some basic tests. He makes sure she’s reaching for her toes and can pass objects from one hand to another. He asks Sid if she’s holding her bottle while he feeds her and if she can roll over in both directions. He checks her gums and makes a satisfied noise at what he finds and tells Sid she’s ready to start eating some solid foods.

“Oatmeal is usually the first first. Can try mashed bananas or avocado. Pureed fruits and veggies...have a whole printed out list I can give you.”

Sid nods. “Does it matter if I introduce sweet things before non-sweet things? Because I read online somewhere that if I start with sweet foods she’ll be addicted to it for the rest of her life and I’ll have a hard time getting her to eat vegetables.”

Dr. Malkin ducks his head and Sid can tell he’s trying to hold back a smile. “Sometimes internet is bad,” he says and Sid understands that. “Can start with sweet, savory...don’t matter. If she not like something the first time you give it, don’t worry. Can try again later. Maybe she is just not in mood. Giving banana before carrots at six months old won’t mess up her whole life. Am not going to say to stop looking online but…”

“I shouldn’t believe everything I read.”

Dr. Malkin snaps his fingers. “Exactly. Now, am going to ask you to hold. Is time for shots.”

“She hates these,” Sid says softly, heart already breaking.

“No one like,” Dr. Malkin says as he readies the vaccines. There are so many of them. “But going to make as quick and fun as possible.” 

Sid has serious doubts even as Dr. Malkin takes a hand puppet out of the drawer and slips it on. 

It looks like a tiger and it rattles when Dr. Malkin makes it move. Eloise zeroes in on it, eyes wide as she tries to grab it. It’s her only focus and she doesn’t so much as blink when Dr. Malkin pokes the needle into her chubby thigh. 

Dr. Malkin lists off the names of vaccines as he gives them, telling Sid what they prevent against and if she’ll need a booster and if so, when. The whole time he keeps the puppet moving and talking, putting on funny voices and singing nonsensical songs. 

He puts the last syringe down and gently bops Eloise on the nose with the tiger. “All done!” He says, “see, quick and fun!”

Sid is speechless. “That was amazing,” he finally says. “Seriously, that was incredible.”

Dr. Malkin shrugs but clearly looks pleased. “Every baby is different. What works for one won’t for others. I just take chance that she’ll like the puppet. She a very brave girl.”

Sid hums and kisses the crown of Eloise’s head. He knows. 

“Think we all done,” Dr. Malkin says. “You have any questions?”

Sid has a million and every time one gets answered a new one pops up to take his place. Unfortunately he can’t remember any of them right now. 

“Oh, I know!” Sid says as something finally pops into his brain. “I have an uncle who is color blind. Is there any possible way I could pass that one? I mean, I’m not color blind but could I still somehow have the gene or whatever?” 

Dr. Malkin presses his lips together and flips open Eloise’s file. “She is adopted, yes?” Sid nods and suddenly it hits him. “Yes, fuck. Oh!” He covers Eloise’s ears with his hands. “No, you didn’t hear that.”

Dr. Makin laughs. “Is okay, will still be little bit before she starts to repeat sounds.”

Still, Sid’s face burns. “I’m not usually this dumb and I promise I don’t swear in front of her. I’m really careful but it’s been a lot. I’ve had my parents and my family all helping me out and now I’m here...most of the team haven’t even made it back to town yet. I guess I might be a little overwhelmed. It’ll be okay, though.” It has to be.

“I think,” Dr. Malkin starts slowly, “even parents who have all the help in the world still feel that way.”

“Do you have kids,” Sid asks and Dr. Malkin shakes his head.

“No, not yet. Maybe someday.”

For the first time since he walked in he doesn’t sound happy or excited. He sounds sad at worst and wistful at best. Maybe that was a question Sid shouldn’t have asked. 

“Until then,” he continues sounding brighter, “am happy to take care of a bunch of little ones.” He smiles at Eloise. “She really is beautiful.”

“I know,” Sid says and Dr. Malkin huffs a laugh. 

“If no more questions--.”

“No, nothing. God, I should let you go. I bet I’ve already taken up too much of your time.”

“Is never like that,” Dr. Malkin assures. “I am here to talk and answer questions, whatever they might be. But if there is no more for today, you can go check out. Won’t need to see her back for three months but if you worry about something or you think she is not feeling well, call in and bring her back. Is what I’m here for.”

“Thank you so much,” Sid says as he buckles Eloise into her car seat. “It’s always been such an ordeal taking her to the doctor. She would have complete meltdowns. This is by far the best experience either of us have ever had.” He picks up the car seat and holds out his hand, making up for the missed handshake from before. “It was really nice to meet you.”

Dr. Malkin takes his hand. “Was nice to meet you too, Mr. Crosby.”

“Sid is fine. You can call me Sid.” 

“Sid,” he says, like he’s testing out the word. He pulls his hand away only to reach into his pocket and pull out a lollipop. “I usually give to kids as a treat but she’s still too little.” He twirls the lolli by the stick, the cellophane crinkling as it spins. “You however...perfect age.”

“Thank you,” Sid says softly as he takes the lollipop and Dr. Malkin smiles.

“Have a good day, Sid. Will see you next time.” 


	2. Chapter 2

“Of course there’s enough room. I designed this house to have enough room.”

At twenty one with his entire life ahead of him and more money than he knew what to do with, Sid had built a home that he had hoped to one day fill with a family. This is now one day. 

“Sid, have you really thought about what you’re asking of us,” his mother says over the phone.

Sid sighs and leans back on the couch, shutting his eyes only to crack one open so he can watch Eloise. She’s standing between his legs, using the coffee table to support herself. She slaps one hand against the surface and bounces. 

“I’m asking you to come live with me and your granddaughter. Your only granddaughter,” he adds, playing dirty. 

“Sidney,” Trina says on a sigh. 

“Mom,” Sid says back. 

“You want us to leave our home. Your childhood home.”

“It’s not like you’d have to sell the place. Call it a summer home.”

Trina sighs again and Sid tosses his head back in exasperation. They’ve been going around and around on this for days now. 

“We have a life here,” Trina tells him, “we have friends and honey, I love you, you know I do, but we can’t just pack up and move twelve hundred miles away from it. Your father still has a job.”

“But he doesn’t need to. I can take care of things. I can take care of you, of both of you. I’m just asking for some help.”

“There are people who will help you. It’s their job too, you just have to find the right one.”

“I can’t leave her with a stranger, Mom, just can’t. 

“You’re going to have to someday. She’s going to grow up. She’s going to go to school.”

He feels Eloise but her hand on his knee and he looks down. She’s turned away from the table and is now using his leg to hold herself up. She’ll be walking soon. 

“I’m not ready for any of that yet,” Sid says softly. 

“You’ll be starting practice in a few weeks. What are you going to do? Didn’t you think—.”

“I didn’t think it would be this hard to talk you into this,” Sid interrupts. “I didn’t think I’d have to beg.”

“Sidney,” she says, sounding sad and Sid feels like he might start crying. He leans forward and scoops Eloise up onto his lap, the curls of her baby-fine blonde hair tickle his chin. 

“Is that Sid?” Taylor’s voice is muffled on the other end of the line. “Tell him I want more pictures of Louise. The background on my phone is at least two weeks old.”

The idea hits Sid square in the chest. “Taylor!” He shouts and Eloise starts and whips her head around to stare up at him. “I’m sorry,” he says to her then kisses the top of her head. “Let me talk to Taylor,” he says to Trina and Trina hesitates. “Mom? You still there? Put Taylor on. Please.”

“Sid, I think I know where this is going and I think I know the answer.”

“I just want to talk to her. Please.”

Trina blows out a breath before heaving a sigh. She must pull the phone away from her ear because her voice sounds far away when she says “Sid wants to talk to you.”

“I just want a picture,” Taylor says. It sounds like she’s getting closer to the phone. “I know he takes a million of them. What is there to talk about?”

“You’ll see,” Trina says as she hands the phone off. 

“What’s up,” Taylor asks into the phone and Sid takes a deep breath before he rushes the words out. 

“How would you like to come stay with me in Pittsburgh?”

There’s a pause and then- “to what? Visit?”

“No,” Sid says slowly. “To live. And help take care of Eloise.”

“Isn’t this what you’ve been hounding mom and dad about? I’m your second choice?”

“Right now you’re my only choice.”

Taylor snorts. “Bye, Sid. Hire a nanny.”

“Taylor wait,” he says and Taylor sighs loudly into the phone. “I need your help. _Your_ help. You know Eloise loves you.”

“I love her too, but...I’m trying to find a job here and I don’t think being a nanny is the kind of career I’m looking for. It’s not the job I want.”

“It wouldn’t be a job,” Sid says, “I wouldn’t be paying you.”

There’s a pause then “bye, Sid!”

“Wait!” 

“Sid,” Trina says. 

“Put Taylor back on.”

“I think she’s done.”

“Then put the phone on speaker.”

“I don’t like being in the middle of this,” she says but Sid hears a click and an echo. 

“Taylor, I’ll help you find a job down here. There’s tons to do in Pittsburgh. I could probably find you a spot with the Pens.”

“Nepotism!” Taylor yells and Sid rolls his eyes and stands up so he can set Eloise down on her playmat. 

“Who cares about nepotism,” Sid says. “I mean, yeah, I get it, but if you have a job you love then who cares. It’s not like you won’t be qualified.”

“If I get a job then who is watching your daughter?”

“I didn’t say it would happen right away.”

“Mom, hang up. Hire a nanny, bud, like every other dude in the league.”

Sid wants to tell her that every other _dude in the league_ has a wife or girlfriend and that his situation was always going to be unique and challenging. 

“Help me find a nanny. I’d feel better if I had someone with me that I trust while I interview them. Plus I’ve heard that I can be a little….particular.”

“No, who said that,” Taylor asks sarcastically. Sid hears her sigh. “We’re gonna start interviewing nannies like, the day after I get there, okay? And you’re paying for my plane ticket, a direct flight.”

“Of course,” Sid says.

“And you’re paying for a rental car.”

“I’ll buy you a car.”

“You don’t need to do that. Well, maybe. I guess it depends how I feel,” she says loftily. 

“Just let me know. I’ll get you two cars. Thank you, Taylor. I owe you one. I owe you a million.”

“Calm down. It’s not a total chore to live in a big house and hang out with my niece for a bit. Give me a few days to wrap some things up here then I’ll be down. Text me the flight details. Nothing too early in the morning.”

“Okay, whatever you want. Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

“All right, enough. You’re starting to sound desperate.”

“Starting,” Trina says and Taylor laughs. “Are you happy now, honey?”

“Yes. It’s such a weight off my mind.” He drops down next to Eloise. “How about you?” He asks. “Are you happy that you’ll get to spend time with your Aunt Taylor?”

Eloise looks up at him and coughs. 

“Oh boy.”

*

The earliest appointment that Sid can get is for the following day. 

Eloise had coughed five times before he made the call and he must have sounded frantic because the receptionist at Dr. Malkin’s office had floated the idea of taking her to the emergency room. 

Sid had looked at Eloise, happily smearing her fingers through puréed sweet potatoes in her high chair and decided against it. They could both wait. 

Now, however, the wait for Dr. Malkin to come into the tiny exam room feels agonizing. 

Sid bounces his knee impatiently which in turn bounces Eloise who seems happy enough to stare at the brightly colored alphabet poster hanging on the wall. 

“So sorry for the wait,” Dr. Malkin says as he opens the door. “Hello, pretty girl,” he says so Eloise who smiles and flaps her hands. “Back so soon.”

“She has a cough,” Sid says and Dr. Malkin’s smile slips from his face. He gestures to the exam table and grabs the stethoscope that’s hanging on the wall as Sid sets Eloise down. 

“Cough sound wet or dry,” Dr. Malkin asks. He lets Eloise inspect the end of the stethoscope before he presses it to her chest and listens. 

“Umm, dry I guess.”

Dr. Malkin nods. “She eating okay? Have good appetite? No vomiting?”

“It’s fine. She’s been fine.”

Dr. Malkin nods. “She sleep okay?”

Sid nods back. He would know. He was up half the night listening to the silent baby monitor. 

“Good, good,” Dr. Malkin says quietly as he reaches for the baby thermometer. 

“She doesn’t have a fever,” Sid says and Dr. Malkin glances over. “Or at least she didn’t. Does she?”

Dr. Malkin runs the thermometer over her forehead and shakes his head. “Is perfect. When was the last time you hear her cough?”

“Yesterday,” Sid says and Dr. Malkin presses his lips together. “She coughed a few times yesterday so I called in for an appointment. This was the earliest one I could get. I didn’t think I had to get her to the emergency room.”

“No, no,” Dr. Malkin says, “don’t think you had to do that. She seems okay now.”

Sid blinks at him. “Well yeah, but she was coughing.”

Dr. Malkin hums. “But she not cough today at all?”

“No, but she was coughing yesterday.”

“But today is today,” Dr. Malkin says slowly and Sid feels a pang of annoyance. “She has no fever, lungs sound good, eating well, sleeping well, she seems fussy at all?”

“No.”

“Okay, then. Think she okay.”

Sid narrows his eyes. “You _think._ Then why was she coughing?”

Dr. Malkin shrugs. “You have pets?”

“No.”

“She on floor when she cough?”

“The first time, yeah, but not the rest. My home isn’t dirty if that’s what you’re getting at.”

“I not say that.”

“It’s not like it was dusty or anything.”

“Sid—.”

“Mr. Crosby is fine,” Sid snaps then immediately feels like a douchebag. 

Dr. Malkin seems to take it in stride and nods. “Mr. Crosby, right now, your baby is fine. Can’t find anything wrong. If you want second opinion, is fine but in my opinion she is healthy and happy. If she starts coughing again and has fever and look or act like she’s uncomfortable then yes, there might be something wrong. You bring her back and we run some tests but for right now, I see no reason to do that. Will just upset her.” He puts his hand on Eloise’s belly and she immediately grabs for it. She does look fine. 

Sid looks down at his feet, feeling like he just got yelled at by the principal even though Dr. Malkin never even came close to raising his voice. He’s been calm and steady throughout it all. 

“Mr. Crosby,” Dr. Malkin continues and Sid sighs. 

“Sid is fine. I’m sorry for snapping, I was worried.”

“Is understandable but trust me when I say your daughter's health is very important to me. If something was wrong I would do all I could to help. Right now I see nothing wrong.”

“Good,” Sid says, “good. I’m glad. I’ve been lucky, she hasn’t been sick before and I know she’s not sick now,” he says quickly and Dr. Malkin smiles. “I panicked. That’s all there is to it. The good news is that my sister is coming down to stay with me for a bit so maybe that’ll help me relax.”

“Is always good to see family,” Dr. Malkin says and Sid appreciates how diplomatic that answer was. “You have any more questions, Sid? Any concerns?”

“No,” Sid says, “I think we’re both all right. Thank you for seeing us.”

“Is always good to see,” he says, “hope you have a good time with your sister.” He picks up Eloise. “Hope you have good time with your aunt.”

“I’m sure she will,” Sid says as Dr. Malkin hands her over. 

They’re in the middle of checking out at the front desk and reconfirming Eloise’s nine month appointment when Dr. Malkin strides down the hall toward them. 

“Good, you still here,” he says, “almost forgot.” 

He reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a lollipop just like last time but this time it’s orange. 

“You like,” he asks, “or want different flavor?”

“This is fine,” Sid says as he reaches for it. He didn’t know that this was going to be a thing. “Thank you.”

Their fingers brush and Dr. Malkin smiles. He almost looks shy. 

“Hope you have good day,” he says and Sid nods and watches as Dr. Malkin turns and walks back down the hall. 

When Sid turns back to the receptionist she’s trying and failing to hide her smile. 


	3. Chapter 3

“What about her?”

Sid spins away from the counter, half a mango in hand, to look at Taylor’s laptop. 

He pulls a face and shakes his head then spins back around. “No.”

“What? What’s wrong with her?”

“She’s too...old.”

“Too old? She’s mom’s age. I’m gonna tell her you said that.” 

“It’s not that she’s old,” Sid backtracks. “It’s just…she’s not right.”

“Well what do you want here, Sid? Some hot, young thing? People will talk.”

“If only they knew,” Sid says as he tips the cutting board up and the mango falls into the blender. 

Taylor snorts. “You can get a male nanny,” she suggests, “if that makes you feel better.”

“It doesn’t,” he answers then presses _blend_ before Taylor can say anything else. He’s not sure anything will make him feel better. 

They’ve interviewed half a dozen potential nannies in the ten days that Taylor has been in Pittsburgh. Sid can admit that they’ve all been well qualified and polite and any of them would have made a great nanny...for someone else’s child. He just doesn’t feel like he has clicked with them and more importantly he doesn’t feel like any of them have clicked with Eloise. Taylor has called him crazy, she said that it would take Eloise a while to warm up to any stranger and that it was all part of the process but Sid held strong. Eloise seemed to like Dr. Malkin well enough and he had been a stranger. He doesn’t think it’s too much to ask for a similar connection with the person that will be caring for her while he’s working. 

Taylor is quiet when he stops the blender. It’s just the tapping of her fingers against the touchpad and Eloise sliding the baby spoon around the tray of her high chair. 

Sid pours the puréed mango into a bowl and crosses the kitchen to Eloise. 

“Okay, sweetie,” Sid says as he pulls up a chair in front of her. “How about this?”

He dips the spoon into the mango and holds it up to Eloise’s mouth. She presses her lips into a thin line and turns her head. 

Sid sighs. “What’s it gonna be, kid? Huh? Not the mango, not the bananas, not the peas. What else can I do?”

“You can leave her alone for a bit,” Taylor suggests lightly and Sid frowns. 

“She’s not eating. It’s breakfast.”

“Maybe she’s not hungry.”

“She needs to eat. She needs to start trying real food.”

“Maybe she’s tired of you shoving that spoon in her face.” 

“Do you think I should take her to the doctor?”

Taylor gives him an icy glare over the top of her laptop. “No.”

“But she’s not eating.”

“You’ve taken her to the doctor three times since I’ve been here.”

“I was concerned.”

“Two of those times she had gas. They’re gonna turn you away, Sid.”

“They wouldn’t do that. They couldn’t.” 

“They’re gonna lock the doors, turn off the lights, and hide until you get the hint and go away. Relax, bud. She’s fine.”

“But she’s not eating.”

“She probably doesn’t like what you’re giving her. Give her some of the stuff from the jar.”

Sid wrinkles his nose. “Why would I do that? This is all fresh. I made it.” 

Taylor sighs. “Remember when you tried to feed Sam that raw food that had to be refrigerated. She hated it. She went on a hunger strike. She didn’t start eating again until you caved and bought the kibble. It’s like that. Like dog like daughter.”

“That’s a terrible analogy. 

“Why? Everyone loves Sam. Now hey, look at her.” Taylor flips the laptop around to give Sid a clear view of the screen. “Her name is Lauren, she’s forty two so older but not _old.”_ Taylor puts air quotes around the word and Sid frowns. “She has a bunch of degrees in childhood development and she has three kids of her own—triplets—so you know she can handle pretty much anything your adorable little baby throws at her.” Taylor wiggles her fingers at Eloise and makes a funny face and Eloise laughs. 

“I don’t know,” Sid says and when Taylor groans and dramatically throws her head back Eloise laughs even harder. “I don’t know what you want me to say. Without meeting them I’m never going to actually know.”

“So can I schedule an interview?”

“Fine, Taylor, do whatever you want,” he mumbles before turning back to the blender. 

Nonplussed, Taylor nods. “Great. I’m going to send her and three others an email. Sound good?”

“Whatever.”

“Whatever,” Taylor mimics back as she taps at the touch pad. “All set. Hopefully they’ll get back to me soon.”

“Great,” Sid says blandly. “I think I’m gonna try and she if she’ll eat some chicken.”

Taylor gags at the thought and stands up. “You do that, Louise and I are going to go play.” Taylor closes her laptop and lifts Eloise from her high chair. Taylor holds her in one arm and picks up the bowl of sliced strawberries she’s been eating for breakfast. “We’ll leave you to your gross blended chicken and your cranky pants.”

“I don’t have cranky pants,” Sid snaps and Taylor ignores him and starts to sing a song about how cranky his pants are that lasts until she and Eloise make it to the living room. 

Sid blocks any other noise out as he goes about his business. He pours the mango purée into ice cube trays to freeze and thaw for later. Then he washes and dries the blender and pulls the plain, cooked, chicken breast out of the fridge. He cuts it into chunks and drops it in the blender with a splash of water. 

“Gross,” he says under his breath. Even when he broke his jaw it never came to this. He adds more water, tablespoon by tablespoon before it comes together and looks like the picture on his phone. “She is so not gonna eat this,” he says as he peers down at it through the hole in the lid. 

“Sid! Can you come in here?” Taylor calls from the other room. 

“Yeah! Just give me a sec.” 

“Okay,” Taylor yells back. “But can you hurry?”

Sid pauses, the blender off its base in his hand. That doesn’t sound good. He sets it down again and jogs down the hall toward the living room where he finds Taylor and Eloise both on the floor. Eloise is mid diaper change and fussing about it and Taylor looks extremely worried. It puts Sid on edge. 

“What’s the matter?”

“I don’t know,” Taylor rushes out, voice high and tight. “I was eating my strawberries and she seemed interested so I mashed one up with my fork and gave it to her and she ate it so I gave her another and then she started to whine so I thought maybe she needed to be changed but when I took off her leggings I saw that she has this rash…”

Sid gets closer and sees raised, red bumps over her legs and when Taylor pushes up her onesie he can see that they’re spread out over her stomach as well. 

“I think she’s allergic,” Taylor says, eyes filling with tears, “I didn’t know, Sid, I wouldn’t have given her any but I didn’t know.”

“Okay,” Sid says, “it’s okay. You didn’t know. I didn’t know.” He feels completely helpless in the face of two crying women. He quickly checks his watch—nine forty five—which means Dr. Malkin’s office is open. “I’m going to call the doctor. Can you get her in the car?” 

Taylor nods and scoops her up, sans leggings, and practically runs out of the room. 

Sid follows, stopping in the kitchen to grab his phone and dial the number that he now knows by heart. He paces, spinning around trying desperately to find his keys while the phone rings. He finds them on the hook right where he left them as the receptionist picks up. 

“Mr. Crosby,” she says and Sid doesn’t even care that they also apparently have his number memorized. “What can we do for you this morning?”

“Eloise, she’s having some kind of reaction. My sister gave her a strawberry and—.”

“Is she breathing?” 

Sid freezes, the mere thought of her _not_ breathing shaking him to the core. 

“Mr. Crosby,” the receptionist says, “is she breathing okay?”

“Yeah,” Sid says, “yes, she’s breathing, she's just—.”

There’s a commotion on the other end and then Dr. Malkin’s voice floods the line. 

“Sid, everything okay?”

“Yeah,” Sid says as he takes a deep breath. “She’s breathing. She’s breathing. My sister is putting her in the car but she’s breathing. Taylor would tell me if she—.” He can’t even say it. “Should I take her to the ER? Should I have called 911?”

“Sid,” Dr. Malkin says, calm as ever. “Take deep breath.”

“I don’t want to take her to the emergency room,” Sid rushes out. He can’t imagine it, running into the ER with his little girl in his arms. He can’t. 

“You say she’s breathing okay? She throwing up?” 

“No, no,” Sid says. “She just has these bumps. They’re red.”

“Okay, sound like hives. Is mild reaction, can come here, will be waiting.”

“Okay,” Sid says, “okay. We’ll be right there.” 

“You have someone to drive you? Is not good to drive when you so upset.”

“It’s just me and my sister here and she might be worse than I am.”

Dr. Malkin breathes a laugh. “Okay, okay. Want you both to take deep breaths, okay?”

“Yeah, all right,” Sid says as he realizes he’s barefoot. He needs shoes. 

“Sid, really. Need to calm down before you drive.”

“I’m not wearing any shoes,” Sid tells him. His voice is shaking. 

Dr. Malkin is quiet for a moment. “Find shoes,” he says finally, “then take deep breath, and drive safe. I see you soon, okay?” 

Sid closes his eyes and breathes. “Okay. We’ll see you soon.”


	4. Chapter 4

Taylor sits in the back seat and tries to soothe Eloise while Sid concentrates on keeping the car within range of the speed limit.

Eloise is full on wailing by the time Sid takes the left into the parking lot and Taylor isn’t far behind. Sid can hear her sniffling between gentle shushes and _“it’s gonna be okay, it’s gonna be okay.”_

“Unbuckle her and bring her in, okay,” Sid says as he pulls up to the front door, “I'll park and meet you in there.”

“Okay,” Taylor says and Sid puts the car in park and turns around to look at her. Her face is red and her eyes are watery as Eloise screams and cries. Taylor’s hands are shaking as she tries to work the buckles, a nearly impossible task as Eloise wiggles around in the seat trying her best to get comfortable. Finally Taylor gives up and looks back at Sid, helplessly. “I can’t do it, she won’t--.”

“Take a deep breath,” Sid tells her, echoing Dr. Malkin’s words, “then unbuckle the seat the same way you’ve done it dozens of times before. You can do it.”

Taylor nods and closes her eyes as she inhales through her nose and exhales through her mouth. “Okay,” she says as she opens her eyes and unsnaps the buckle on the first try. “Okay. I’ll see you in there.”

Taylor tucks Eloise to her chest and hops out of the car and Sid takes his own deep breath before he puts it in drive and finds a parking spot. 

There’s a nurse waiting to guide him back through the winding halls of the office as soon as he walks in. 

She smiles warmly as she asks him how he’s been, as if his crying daughter wasn’t whisked in by his emotionally shaken sister a mere minutes before. 

But Sid was raised to be unfailingly polite and answers back as best he can. 

As they get closer to the end of the hall he can hear Taylor and Dr. Malkin talking over the sound of Eloise whimpering. It breaks Sid’s heart but it’s an improvement from the way she was screaming before. 

The nurse opens the door and Sid barrels in, taking all three of them by surprise.

“Sid,” Dr. Malkin says, sounding happy enough. “Good morning.”

“Is she okay,” Sid asks, momentarily forgetting his manners. “Is she going to be okay?”

“She’s going to be fine,” Dr. Malkin assures him. “Just mild allergic reaction.”

“It didn’t sound mild. She was screaming.”

“I know,” Dr. Malkin says, “I hear when she come in.” He lightly bops Eloise on the nose as she wiggles on the table. “Very big lungs on such a little girl.”

“Dr. Malkin was waiting for us when we came in,” Taylor says. “She calmed down a lot when she saw him. Do you think it was the strawberries that I gave her?”

Dr. Malkin hums. “Most likely. You change detergent lately or use different soap for bathtime?”

It takes Sid a moment to realize that Dr. Malkin is talking to him and he quickly shakes his head. “No, it’s all been the same.” 

“Then probably from food.”

“I didn’t know,” Taylor says and before Sid can reassure her, again, Dr. Malkin swoops in. 

“Is impossible to know until you know,” he says simply. “Allergies can be a little bit of a guessing game. Is good we find out about strawberries because now we can avoid it. Of course, she may grow out of it.”

“How do we know when she’s grown out of it?”

Dr. Malkin smiles and touches his nose with his index finger before he points it at Taylor. “Is guess. Sometimes kids outgrow, sometimes they don’t. When babies have allergies to milk or eggs...they usually outgrow. But every baby is different….with strawberries...we have to see.”

“I think we’ll stay away from them for now,” Sid says, “she’s really going to be okay?”

Dr. Malkin puts his hand over his heart. “Can promise. Am going to give her some antihistamines to help with hives. Will make her feel better right now. If it happens again--.”

“Why would it happen again, we’re not going to be giving her strawberries.”

“Sid, chill,” Taylor says and Dr. Malkin suppresses a smile. 

“In case she ever is allergic to something else. Another food, soap, insect bite...like I say, every baby is different. If she gets hives again you can soak a washcloth and cool water and put it on hives or give her oatmeal bath or put her in loose fitting clothes. All should help.”

“So I don’t have to rush her in here in a panic?”

Dr. Malkin shakes his head. “No, no panic.” 

“That’s going to be hard for Sid,” Taylor says, “if she farts too loudly he wants to bring her here.”

Dr. Malkin laughs and Sid shoots Taylor a dirty look. 

“That’s not true,” he tells Dr. Malkin. “I actually think that’s really funny.”

“Yes,” Dr. Malkin says, still laughing, “is always very funny.” He smiles at Sid and Sid can’t help but smile back. 

Sid holds Eloise while Dr. Malkin gives her a low dose of an antihistamine and tells them that the hives should disappear in a few hours. 

“Might make her sleepy,” he tells them, “so if you have errands to run now is good time.”

“Like going to the store for baby food,” Taylor asks. “She won’t eat the homemade, all natural, organic stuff Sid’s been trying to feed her. He doesn’t want to give in and buy the jar stuff.”

“Jar stuff is fine,” Dr. Malkin says. “Important thing is that she eat.”

Taylor gives Sid an _I told you so_ look and Sid rolls his eyes. 

“Okay, fine, we’ll stop at Target,” Sid says and Taylor smiles victoriously as Sid uncurls Eloise’s fingers from the front of his shirt. “Why don’t you take her out to the car while I finish up here? I’ll be right out.”

Taylor gathers Eloise into her arms. She fusses for a few seconds then lays her head on Taylor’s shoulder and falls back asleep. Sid hands over the keys and Taylor nods to Dr. Malkin. 

“It was nice to meet you,” she says, “thank you for everything.”

“Was nice to meet you, too,” Dr. Malkin says. “Not many people get to meet three Crosby’s all at once. Feel lucky.”

Taylor smiles and Sid swears he sees her blush before she leaves. 

“Have question,” Dr. Malkin asks and Sid takes a deep breath. 

“What if it’s more serious next time,” he asks and Dr. Malkin’s eyebrows pull together. “What if it’s not mild? What if I give her peanut butter and it’s a severe reaction? Kids die--.” He stops and takes another breath. His chest feels heavy and Dr. Malkin puts a hand on his shoulder and guides him down and into the chair that Taylor was sitting in. “Kids die from peanut allergies,” Sid says when he finally gets his breath back. “Or what about seafood? We spend the summer in Canada and there’s tons of it up there. What if someday someone gives her a shrimp or a bite of lobster and it’s bad? What do I do? You’re all the way down here and--.” He cuts himself off, drops his head into his hands and tries to breathe. 

He can hear Dr. Malkin sit down at his desk chair and the squeak of the wheels as he rolls himself over. A moment later there’s a hand on Sid’s back, gently rubbing small circles over his shirt. “Breathe,” he says softly, “gonna be okay.”

Sid lifts his head out of his hands and looks at Dr. Malkin. They’re sitting very close. “It’s not. Look at me, I’m spiraling and it was a mild reaction. It was hives. If I can’t handle this then what would I do in a serious situation?”

“What you need to do,” Dr. Malkin says. “You got her here, you did the right thing.”

“Yeah but in an emergency--.”

“In an emergency you do the right thing, too. I know you would. I know is scary to think about what might happen but I know you could handle it.” His hand slides up to Sid’s shoulder and he looks Sid right in the eyes. “I know it. Is not easy to be a parent. I see them everyday...I see them struggle and question and worry. They all have the same fears that you do. I see you,” he says. “I see how much you care. You’re a good father but I don’t think you need me to tell you that. Think you already know.” 

Sid looks away and clears his throat as Dr. Malkin squeezes Sid’s shoulder and stands up. 

“What if she is allergic to peanuts,” Sid asks, “god, can you imagine the headlines? _‘Sidney Crosby’s kid can’t eat peanut butter...what’s he going to do’?”_

Dr. Malkin laughs. “Almond butter just as good. But if she is allergic, we figure out, okay? Will be okay.”

Sid nods and laughs nervously. “I’m sorry I just had a breakdown in your office,” he says and Dr. Malkin waves him off. “You’re seeing me at my worst.”

“Am a doctor. I see much worse all the time. Plus is only fair, I see you at your best on TV all the time.” He winks and wheels himself over to his desk where he opens the second drawer and pulls out two lollipops. “One for you and one for Taylor. I think she needs. Also…” He leans over and grabs a business card off the top and pulls a pen from the pocket of his coat. He writes something on the back, slowly and clearly before he hands everything over. “Is my cell,” he explains when Sid reads over the digits. “If you have any questions, any concerns...anything. Just want to chat, is fine too. Text, call, whatever you feel.”

“Dr. Malkin, I didn’t mean--.”

“Think,” Dr. Malkin interrupts, “you can call me Geno.”

“Geno?”

Dr. Malkin nods. “You call me Geno, I call you Sid. Is even. Fair. That okay?”

Sid nods back. “I promise I won’t call you over every little thing.”

Geno shrugs. “If you call,” he says, “I answer.”

Taylor is in the passenger seat with her feet up on the dash and the windows rolled down when Sid gets out of the office.

Eloise is fast asleep in the back, hands balled into loose fists on her lap and her lips parted as she breathes evenly. 

“Everything okay,” Taylor asks as Sid climbs into the front seat. He pushes at Taylor’s legs until she drops them to the floor then hands her a lollipop. 

“Fun,” she says as she plucks it from his hand and pulls off the cellophane. She pops the candy into her mouth and Sid starts the car. 

He’ll hold onto his like he has with all the others. 

It’s a quiet drive to Target. Sid keeps the radio off and rolls up the windows so the noise doesn’t wake Eloise. 

She’s still asleep by the time they get there and Taylor goes off to find a cart while Sid lifts the car seat off the base. Eloise stirs and rubs at her face with her hand. She opens her eyes and looks up at him. Sid leans down to press a kiss to her forehead and by the time he pulls back she’s drifted off again. 

Sid pushes the cart and follows Taylor straight to the baby food aisle. They read the back of jars and pouches and put back anything that contains strawberry. 

Taylor goes a bit overboard, filling the cart with more than Eloise could ever eat but Sid doesn’t stop her. He can always donate it. 

When they’re done he follows Taylor an aisle over where she picks out brightly colored onesies and drops them in the cart. 

“You know she has a ton of clothes, right?” 

Taylor nods and grabs a light pink one with hearts and ruffles. “I know. But look how cute.” 

“We’re running out of summer,” Sid reminds her. “At least grab some things for fall.” 

“These are on clearance,” Taylor says as she grabs a pajama set with bunnies, kittens, and puppies printed on them. “I was trying to save you money.”

“I think that’s kind of a moot point by now,” Sid says as he nods toward the cart, “don’t you think?” 

Taylor shrugs and grabs another set with cherries on them that look about four sizes too big. 

He guesses he can donate the clothing as well. 

They move onto the toy section next where Taylor picks out new teethers and stuffed animals. 

“She already has that,” Sid says when she grabs a plush llama from the shelf. 

She nods and puts it back then grabs a sheep instead. “You know, you could have warned me that Dr. Malkin was hot.”

Sid blinks at her. Maybe he misheard. “Excuse me?”

Taylor rolls her eyes and grabs the front of the cart to pull it further down the aisle. “Dr. Malkin. You should have warned me that he’s a total babe. Look at me, I look like a slob.”

Taylor is still in her pajamas, cotton shorts and an oversized sweatshirt and her hair is piled messily on top of her head. 

“Nobody dresses up for a trip to the pediatricians office.”

“Still. A heads up would have been appreciated.” She gives Sid a sly look. “You don’t think he’s hot?”

“I think he’s my child’s doctor and to see him any other way would be inappropriate.”

“Ugh,” Taylor groans, “you’re such a square. Well, I think he’s hot and I demand to come with you the next time you go.”

“Hopefully that won’t be until her nine month check up.”

Taylor hums and Sid tips his head to the side to study her.

“Are you still planning on being here then? What happened to ‘ _you need to hire a nanny, Sid. I’m not sticking around forever.”_

“I still think that,” Taylor shoots back. “You do need to hire a nanny because I am going to get a job and my own place and have my own life but I’ve been thinking...she’s grown so much since you guys left home. God, she’s grown so much in the time that I’ve been here. I don’t want to miss that. I don’t want to only see her on holidays or during the playoffs like I saw you for all those years. I want to be here for her. Plus, you know, Pittsburgh’s pretty cool. I think I could like it here.”

“I have,” Sid says. 

“And would be even cooler if I could maybe get a job with the Pens…” 

“I’ll see what I can do,” Sid tells her and Taylor nods.

“Great. Now come on.” She grabs the cart again and pulls. “I need some shampoo.”


	5. Chapter 5

As soon as all the guys are back in Pittsburgh, Sid throws a preseason party at his house. 

To no one's surprise, Eloise is the star of the show. 

She gets passed around from teammate to teammate, each one vying for her affection so they can claim the title of favorite uncle. 

She settles in best with Turbo, much to the chagrin of the guys who have children of their own and Brandon celebrates by taking a slow victory lap around the yard with Eloise propped on his hip. 

Sid shakes his head as he watches the two of them from the back deck. They’re standing under one of the big oak trees, looking up at a squirrel that’s eating an acorn. Brandon is pointing at it and talking and Eloise keepings turning her head from him to the squirrel, like she can’t decide which one is more fascinating. 

“Brandon Tanev, baby whispers. Who would have thought?”

Sid laughs and turns to Tanger. “You’re late.”

“Just wait until you have two kids,” Tanger says as he slides his wayfarers off his face and hooks them in his t-shirt. “You’ll never make it anywhere on time. You look good.” He opens his arms and pulls Sid in for a hug, thumping him twice on the back before he lets him go. “I take it she’s sleeping through the night?”

“Most of the time. We’re getting there.”

“Well I bet the nanny is helping. You hired one, right?”

“Yes, thank god,” Taylor says as she cuts between them, two plates filled with sliced watermelon in her hands. 

They had interviewed four people before deciding that Lauren was the clear choice. She’s calm and kind and experienced with children and she didn’t blink at the NDA that Sid presented her to sign. 

She’s only been with them for a few days but Eloise is already looking and reaching for her so Sid takes that as a good sign. 

“I still haven’t left Eloise alone yet but…”

“It’ll be fine. It’ll suck but it’ll be fine. Trust me. When have I ever steered you wrong.”

“Well,” Sid starts and stops. “Hey—did I ever thank you for recommending Geno? He’s been amazing.”

Tanger cocks his head to the side. “Who is Geno?”

“Geno,” Sid says, “Dr. Malkin.”

“Oh, okay. Wait, you call him Geno?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

“Because...he told me to. What do you call him?”

“Umm. Dr. Malkin? Alex’s doctor? Why Geno? That’s not even his first name.”

“I don’t know. Maybe it’s a nickname….so I guess he didn’t give you his cell number.”

Tanger’s eyes go wide. “No, he didn’t. Wow. I had no idea he was gay.”

Sid nearly drops his drink. “What?”

“Or bi,” Tanger says quickly, “or whatever. Into guys, let’s say that.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Oh come on, Sid. It’s obvious he’s into you. I’ve been seeing him since Alex was a baby and he’s never given me his number.”

“You’ve probably never had a meltdown in front of him. You can ask Taylor, I was a disaster. He probably just felt sorry for me.”

“I’m pretty sure every parent has broken down in front of their kids' pediatrician.”

“Maybe he just wants tickets to games,” Sid says weakly. He feels terrible suggesting it mostly because he knows it’s not true. 

“He’s never once even hinted at wanting tickets and he’s had plenty of opportunities. Plus he’s a doctor, it’s not like he can’t afford to buy them himself.”

“No,” Sid says, “no way. He gave me his number in case I had a question about Eloise. Not for...whatever you think.”

“To bone,” Tanger says and Sid rolls his eyes and turns around, retreating into the relative privacy of the kitchen with Tanger right on his heels. “Have you texted him?”

“No, nothing has been wrong with Eloise. Why would I text him?”

“So you can bone,” Tanger says. “Come on, man, how long has it been since, you know?” He waggles his eyebrows and Sid huffs and yanks open the fridge, looking for nothing in particular. 

“I can’t just hook up with people anymore. I have a kid.”

“For what it’s worth, I don’t think Dr. Malkin is looking for a quick hook up.”

“I thought you said he just wanted to bone?” Sid closes the door and sees Jake standing in the doorway behind Tanger, wide eyed and frozen and holding a case of White Claw. “Hey, bud,” Sid says and Tanger whirls around. “You can dump those in the cooler out back. The guys are out there, there’s tons of food, help yourself.”

Jake nods and slips by and Sid shakes his head.

“That’s great, Tanger. Probably scarred him.”

“He’s a big boy,” Tanger says, “he’ll get over it. I didn’t say he only wanted to bone just that, you know, that’s a part of it. Come on, Sid, what’s the downside? You said yourself that he’s amazing and he’s a doctor....you can’t do much better than that.”

“He’s my daughter’s doctor. It’s, I don’t know, a conflict of interest.”

“Your daughter’s doctor,” Tanger repeats, “not your doctor. It’s fine.”

“I don’t know.”

“Look,” Tanger says, “I think he’s into you and I’m pretty sure you’re into him so why not do something about it?”

“You know how hard it is for me to date,” Sid says softly. “My schedule, my life.” He gestures to himself. “Me. Now I have a kid.”

“Good think you already know Dr. Malkin loves kids, isn’t it? And there’s nothing wrong with you, Sid. Your situation is unique for several reasons but any guy worth having will work with you to make it work. I won’t bring this up again.” He puts his hands up like he’s surrendering. “I’ve said my piece and it’s up to you but I hope that you at least consider it. Okay?”

Sid nods. “Okay. I’ll consider it.”

Tanger claps him on the shoulder. “Good. Now I’m gonna go stuff my face as sort of a last meal before the season starts and I’m gonna attempt to learn some of these new kid’s names. You coming?”

“I’m not stuffing my face and I already know their names.”

Tanger laughs and wraps an arm around his shoulders to jostle him. “Of course you do.”

It’s dark by the time the party wraps up. 

A few of the guys offer to stick around to help clean up but Sid waves them off and tells them to head home and get a good night’s rest so they’ll be ready for practice tomorrow. 

There’s not much to clean, and between him and Taylor it’ll be quick work. 

Taylor heads out to make a sweep of the deck and backyard while Sid takes a quick look through the trash, trying to find any cans and bottles that accidentally got thrown out so he can recycle them instead. Meanwhile, Eloise is out like a light in her playpen, stretched out on her tummy and clutching her unicorn stuffie. 

“I’ve never seen her sleep like that,” Taylor says as she comes in with a small bag of trash. “You should’ve hired Brandon to be her nanny. He was so good with her.”

“A fallback career for him for sure. I got the rest of this,” he tells Taylor. “You should go relax, you’ve got a big day tomorrow too.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me.”

Sid looks up. “You’re not excited for your interview?”

“Nervous, not excited. Is this how everyone feels before they interview for a job?”

“I wouldn’t know,” Sid says and Taylor fake laughs. 

“Lucky you. You want me to bring Eloise up? She should probably have a bath. Her and Brandon were crawling through the grass together.”

Sid laughs. He made sure to get a video of that. “I got it. Tomorrow will be my first day away from her so I’m trying to soak it all in tonight.”

“I thought you were going to have Lauren bring her to practice?”

“I don’t know. I’m worried it might be too overwhelming for her.”

Taylor shrugs and starts for the stairs. “I’m sure the staff would love to meet her but it’s up to you. Give Eloise a kiss for me when you wake her up.”

“If I can wake her up. She might just sleep through bathtime.”

Sid waits for Taylor to get to the top of the stairs before he pulls out his phone and leans back against the counter. It’s awful late to send a text but Geno had made it clear that if Sid reached out, he’d answer. 

Before he can overthink it he unlocks his phone and pulls up Geno’s number.

_Hi, sorry it’s so late but practice starts tomorrow and I was wondering if it would be okay to bring Eloise with to meet some of the staff and watch us skate. Or do you think that would be too much for her? Thanks._

He reads it over for typos then hits send. As soon as he hears the _whoosh_ signaling that it went through he swears and sends another text. 

_This is Sidney Crosby by the way._

“I am such an idiot,” he says out loud then pockets the phone, content to pretend that never happened. 

Eloise does wake up to take her bath but just barely. Sid uses the lavender baby shampoo and lets her sleepily splash around with her bath toys until the water begins to cool. 

He dries her off and gets her dressed in a soft pair of footie pajamas then gives her two kisses, one for himself and one for Taylor before he lays her down in her crib and flicks on her nightlight.

He forgets about Geno and the messages he sent until he’s undressing to take a shower and his phone hits the bathroom floor. 

“Shit,” he says with a sigh as he bends down to fish it out of his pocket hoping that he hasn’t cracked the screen. It’s unscathed, thankfully, but the relief is short lived when the screen lights up with two messages from Geno. 

He plops himself down on the floor in only his boxers and slides open the messages. The first one reads:

_I think it would be great to bring her. It’s always good to expose her to new situations and experiences especially if it’s something you plan on doing a lot of in the future. If you think she’s overwhelmed or doesn’t like something take her to a quiet area and let her relax for a little while._

Sid nods and reads the second text.

_Only have one Eloise. Knew it was you lol_

Sid lets his head thunk back against the cabinet beneath the sink. 

_I didn’t want to assume,_ he texts. _Thank you for getting back to me._

Geno’s response is immediate.

_Anytime ))) Are you excited for the season to start?_

Sid settles in, crossing his legs and rolling his shoulders. This doesn’t feel like flirting but it also doesn’t have anything to do with Eloise…

_Yes_ , Sid texts. _But I’m nervous too. It’ll be a lot of time away from Eloise. We have a nanny now but it’s still going to be—_. Sid types _hard_ then backspaces and types out _difficult. I’m worried I’m going to miss things. First step, first word. There’s no way around it though._

Sid taps his toes against the tile. 

_Sorry,_ he texts. _I’m feeling sorry for myself. I know almost every guy in the nhl goes through this._

_Doesn’t make how you’re feeling any less important._

Sid takes a deep breath in and holds it as he types out _did anyone ever tell you you have good bedside manner?_

_Few people ;)_

“Oh god,” Sid whispers. “Okay.” _I’m about to take a shower and then head to bed. Busy day tomorrow._

Geno doesn’t text back for a few minutes and Sid’s about to give up and get up when a message finally comes through. 

_Hope you have a goodnight, Sid. And good season. Text me and let me know if Eloise has a good time at practice. Maybe we see another Crosby on the ice in a few years._

Sid laughs. He has thoughts and feelings on that but it’s way too late to get into it. 

_I will,_ Sid texts. _Have a goodnight._

_Goodnight, Sid,_ Geno texts and Sid’s phone falls silent. 

“That went okay,” he says to the empty room. He takes another deep breath and pulls himself to his feet. 


	6. Chapter 6

Sid gets up early the first day of training camp, excitement thrumming through his veins.

It feels ridiculous to be this excited after all this time but he practically skips down the hall after he gets Eloise up and sings quietly about how he’s going to make her breakfast. 

Taylor comes into the kitchen just as he’s about to turn on the blender to make his protein shake. 

She’s dressed nicely in slacks and a blazer with her hair pulled back in a low ponytail. 

“Hey,” Sid says, “you look nice. Ready for your interview?”

Taylor groans and goes over to say good morning to Eloise. 

“Don’t let her touch you unless you want to go change,” Sid warns as Eloise holds out a sticky hand toward Taylor. Taylor holds out a single finger in return and boops her gently on the nose before she sits down at the table. 

“What do you want for breakfast,” Sid asks and Taylor shakes his head. 

“I’m too nervous to eat.”

“C’mon, you have to eat something. And you shouldn’t be nervous. You’re gonna do fine.”

“That’s easy for you to say. You’ve never actually had to sit down and interview for a job. You’ve had your whole career guaranteed since you were like, eight. Ugh, I don’t want to screw this up.”

“You won’t.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Yes,” Sid says, “I do.”

Taylor narrows her eyes. “How do you know that?”

“What? I just do.”

“You didn’t say anything to anyone, did you? I told you, I wanted to earn this job on my own.”

Sid holds his hands up. “I didn’t say anything, I swear. I just know that you’re qualified and ready for this. You know I know that.”

Taylor relaxes, just slightly. “Okay. All right. Are you excited for camp to start? Wait, that’s a stupid question, of course you are.”

“I’m excited to see the guys.”

“You literally _just_ saw them.”

“Not on the ice,” Sid says and Taylor rolls her eyes and calls him a nerd. 

Lauren arrives after Taylor leaves for her interview. 

Sid has cleaned Eloise up, packed her diaper bag full of essentials and dressed her in a Penguins onesie. 

“She looks so cute,” Lauren coos as Eloise wiggles in Sid’s arms to reach for her. 

They decide to take two cars in case Eloise decides she doesn’t want to be there and needs to be taken home before Sid’s done with practice. 

Lauren follows Sid into the parking lot of the practice facility and Sid rolls down his window to let the security guys know who she is. 

“You’re gonna let us see that baby, aren’t you,” one of them asks and Sid laughs and makes a promise. 

Security ends up being the tip of the iceberg because they’re stopped every few feet by someone new wanting to say hi and tell Sid how beautiful Eloise is. 

Sid answers “I know, isn’t she?,” every time. 

Sid hesitates with Eloise in his arms. He knows he has to pass her off to Lauren and say goodbye for the next few hours but this is the longest they’ve been apart. It’s only going to get harder—after training camp comes preseason games and then the start of the season. He’s going to have to get used to saying goodbye. 

“You know where to go,” Sid asks Lauren before he presses a bunch of little kisses to the top of Eloise’s head. 

Lauren nods. She already has the diaper bag over her shoulder and she reaches her arms out for Eloise. 

“If you have to leave with her just let Jen know and she’ll tell me, okay?”

“I know,” Lauren says patiently, “you’ve already told me.”

Sid sighs and kisses Eloise’s cheek. She happily slaps at his face.

Sid gets one foot in the locker room and is immediately bombarded with questions about where Eloise is. 

“I’m not bringing her in here,” Sid says as he sets his bag down in his stall. 

“Why not,” Horny asks, as he strips out of his clothes. “What? I’d keep them on for her.”

“You can see her after, right now let’s focus on practice.”

Time passes quickly out on the ice. 

He’s focused on the drills and connecting with new teammates but he keeps catching sight of Eloise and Lauren standing by the glass and he can’t help skating by and waving. Even through the gear Eloise seems to recognize him, smiling and reaching out. 

When Sully ends practice Sid’s the first one off the ice for the first time. 

He goes back to the room to shed his gear and rinse the sweat off before he’s back out on the ice with Eloise in his arms. 

The fans and reporters have left, leaving them alone for about twenty minutes before the zamboni drivers kick him off. 

He’s taken a few laps, carefully watching Eloise’s face to make sure she’s enjoying herself, when Tanger steps onto the ice with his phone in his hand. 

“Thought you might like a photographer,” Tanger says as he snaps the first picture, “for the baby book.”

They skate in silence for a bit until Sid sets Eloise down and lets her balance on the ice, holding her hands for support. Tanger kneels down so he can get some good shots of her. 

“So you made it,” Tanger says, “you survived being separated from her for a bit.”

“It sucked,” Sid says, “I mean, I got through it fine and I love being out here with the guys but I was incredibly aware that I was _not_ with her the entire time.”

Tanger hums. “I know what you mean. It does get easier but it never really gets easy.”

“Something to look forward to then,” Sid says as he picks Eloise back up. “I don’t know how I’m going to survive the first road trip.”

“You will,” Tanger says as he stands, “everyone does. I’ll send these to you, okay? I took like, two hundred of them.”

“I’ll probably save every single one of them,” Sid says and Tanger laughs. 

“Yeah, that’s the way it goes.”

By the time they get home Taylor’s already there, eating dry cereal straight from the box at the kitchen island. She’s changed out of her dress clothes and into shorts and a t-shirt. She doesn’t look particularly happy. 

“Uh oh,” Sid says and Taylor shrugs. 

“It was fine. I answered all of their questions and made them laugh a few times so….I don’t know. They said they had a few other people to interview so I probably wouldn’t hear anything for at least a week. That’s cool though, I’ll just stress about it until then.”

“Here,” Sid says as he sets Eloise on Taylor’s lap. “Babies make everything better.”

Taylor hums and rests her chin on the top of Eloise’s head. “How did she like skating with you?”

“I think she liked it. Tanger took a bunch of photos and videos. He texted them to me.” He unlocks his phone and slides it across the island to her. 

Taylor holds onto Eloise with one hand and reaches for the phone with the other. She scrolls through the photos while Sid pulls together lunch for Eloise. 

“I’m sending some of these to myself,” she says, then “who is Geno?”

Sid freezes. “Why?”

“He just texted you. He asked ‘did you take Eloise and did she have fun?’”

“He’s no one,” Sid says, “let me see the phone.”

Taylor pulls the phone back. “Now wait a minute. He’s obviously someone. Why don’t I know him? I know everyone you know.”

“It’s Dr. Malkin.” 

“You have his number,” Taylor asks, followed immediately by “You call him Geno? Sid, are you two—.”

“No,” Sid says sharply. “I asked him if it would be okay to take her to practice or if it would be too much for her and that’s all.”

Taylor blinks at him. “Okay,” she says slowly. “The fact that you’re so defensive makes me think that that’s not all but okay.”

“I mean, it would be selfish to ask for anything else, right?”

“Sid, I think you’re the last person in the world that anyone would call selfish.”

Sid rolls his eyes. “I’m going to be away from her so much because I have to be, what am I going to do, take a night away by choice just to have dinner with some guy?”

“It’s some guy,” Taylor says, “it’s a guy you like and who likes you back. That’s not an easy thing to find.”

“Thanks,” Sid says sarcastically and Taylor shakes her head. 

“I didn’t mean that as a jab at you, I’m saying in general. People don’t find people that easily. If you like Dr. Geno you should do something about it.”

“Don’t call him Dr. Geno.”

“It’s the only thing I’m going to call him.” She puts the phone down and stands up with Eloise. “Why don’t I give Louise her lunch and you text him back. It would be rude to ignore him, wouldn’t it?”

Sid stares at the phone for a few seconds before he picks it up. 


	7. Chapter 7

As soon as Sid lifts Eloise out of her carseat and buckles her into the seat of the shopping cart she starts to whimper.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Sid soothes as he puts the diaper bag into the cart. “I’m sorry I woke you but we’ll be quick okay?” He locks the car and slips his keys into his pocket, patting it quickly on instinct to make sure he has his wallet. “We just need a few things and we can go.”

Eloise doesn’t seem to listen or care because by the time they get through the front doors she’s wailing with fat tears running down her red face.

He thinks about calling it--turning around and heading back to the car but she’s running low on formula and he could really use a few odds and ends back at the house for himself. It’s his off day which means Lauren has the day off as well and Taylor has a second interview with the Penguins--surely a good sigh--and his parents won’t be in town for a few more days. 

With no one at home to watch her or run the errand for him he needs to do it himself and bring her along.

Normally it’s no big deal. Ever since she got the hang of waving she’s enjoyed being out in public, flapping her chubby little hand at everyone she sees. Right now, however, she’s flailing and pounding her fists against the handle of the cart as she screams, causing people to turn their heads and stare. 

Sid’s used to getting attention, it’s been years since he’s been able to go out in public without people staring or whispering about him but it’s different now. They’re not looking at him, they’re looking at his daughter with pinched, annoyed expressions He wants to lash out and ask if they’ve ever seen a crying baby before but he knows that any hostility from him will make the phones come out and his outburst will be posted on the internet for the world to see.

He does his best to ignore them instead and pushes the cart down the aisles. He goes slow and fast. He sings and he talks to her. He digs toys and pacifiers out of the diaper bag and tries dangling his keys in front of her. He gives her a bottle of juice which she regards for a moment before tossing to the floor. He picks her up and puts her back down but she cries and cries and cries through it all. She cries until Sid’s sure she’s going to pass out from it. 

Sid feels a bit like crying himself and he’s about to give up completely and leave his half full cart in aisle eight when he hears a familiar voice cut through Eloise’s screams.

“Ah, I thought I recognize,” the voice says and Sid looks up from Eloise’s tear stained face to see Geno coming toward him, shopping basket in hand.

They’ve been texting on and off, almost entirely about Eloise, but they’ve also talked about training camp and what restaurants Geno has been to lately. 

Geno puts his basket down beside the cart. “She having bad day?”

“Does it look like a good one,” Sid snaps. He immediately feels terrible but Geno takes it in stride, waving off an apology before it even leaves Sid’s mouth. 

“I try,” he asks, hands reaching out for Eloise and Sid nods. Geno unbuckles her and lifts her out of the cart then cradles her against his chest, her head tucked beneath his chin. She’s still crying but it doesn’t seem nearly as shrill. 

Geno rocks her, shifting his weight from foot to foot as he makes soft sounds and rubs her back with one massive hand.

Sid always thought Geno looked good in his white coat with lollipops and pens sticking out of the front pocket. Good doesn’t come close to describing the way Geno looks now, in shorts and flip flops and a sleeveless shirt that shows off incredibly toned and tanned arms. He looks like he’s hanging onto the last drops of summer for dear life while he also calms and comforts Sid’s daughter. 

Eloise quiets after a few minutes and Sid all but collapses against the shopping cart. 

“Thank you,” he says, “I seriously was about to break down myself.”

“It happens to all parents.”

“People were looking at me.”

Geno shrugs. “Let them look. Like they weren’t whiny little babies at one point, too? Probably not half as cute as Eloise.” He looks into Sid’s cart then looks back at him. “Need to finish shopping?”

“I’m almost done,” Sid says, “you can probably put her back down.”

Geno shakes his head. He’s still gently rocking Eloise. “Is fine. I can hold. Can I put basket in cart?”

“Yeah, for sure,” Sid says as he grabs the basket off the floor. He pushes his items in the cart toward the back and sets the basket down. “I’ll be quick. I don’t have that much to get.” “Can take time,” Geno says, “is no rush.”

“This probably isn’t how you wanted to spend your day off,” Sid says as they start down the aisle. 

“Not really have plans,” Geno says. He grabs a jar of pickles off the shelf and adds it to his basket. “Grocery shop, maybe get tea, go home and take nap.”

“I think we’re all gonna need one of those,” Sid says and Geno laughs. 

“Is best part of off day, sure you know.”

“I don’t get to nap much anymore,” Sid admits. “When she’s sleeping I’m usually cleaning or trying to plan out what we’re going to have for a snack or for dinner.”

“Is busy life.”

Sid hums in agreement. 

With Geno’s help Sid’s able to grab everything he needs and after making sure that Geno’s shopping is also done, they make their way to the register. 

Sid unloads everything from the cart and Geno’s basket and stops Geno from putting the divider between their orders. 

“I’ll just make sure they bag it separately,” Sid says, “seriously, paying for your groceries is the absolute least I could do.”

Geno slides the divider back down. “Is okay, Sid. I offer, remember?” 

“That doesn’t mean I can’t do something nice for you as a thank you.”

“You say thank you,” Geno says as he slides the divider back on the belt. “That is enough.”

“Then let me take you out to lunch,” Sid says quickly. “It’s getting to be about that time and I’m not sure Eloise is ever going to let you put her down.” 

Geno looks down at Eloise who is fast asleep in his arms, one hand clenched around the silver chain that hangs around his neck. 

“You don’t have to,” Sid says, backtracking fast. “It’s your day off and I don’t want to make you spend it with me--.”

“No,” Geno interrupts, “would like to.”

“Oh,” Sid says as the cashier begins to ring up his groceries. “Okay. I mean, I should warn you, it won’t be anything fancy.”

Geno smiles, his lips brushing the top of Eloise’s head. “Is okay. Don’t need fancy.”

They get take out from a small cafe that Sid used to frequent on Sunday mornings if he happened to have the day free. 

Geno gets his tea and a turkey sandwich on a house made croissant and Sid got a small salad filled with local greens. He buys Eloise a yogurt and they head across the street to a park to eat. 

Geno has a beach blanket in his car so they spread it out in a shady spot and sit. 

Geno eats while Eloise refuses her yogurt, opting to crawl toward the edge of the blanket so she can grab fistfuls of grass instead. Sid keeps a close eye on her, making sure the grass stays out of her mouth, while he pokes at his salad. 

“You excited for season,” Geno asks and Sid looks up. He can see that Gene has one eye on Eloise as well. 

“Sure,” Sid says, hoping that Geno doesn’t hear the doubt in this voice. 

Geno frowns. “Don’t sound excited.”

“I am,” Sid says. “I’m trying to be.” He puts his fork down in his salad and heaves a sigh. “For the longest time hockey was the love of my life, you know? It was the thing I looked forward to the most and the thing I never got tired of but now…” He gestures toward Eloise. “I still love it. I love being out there and I love the guys but all I can think about is Eloise sitting at home and all the things that I’ll be missing when I’m on the road. After the season opener we’re immediately off on a four game road trip. That’s more than a week I’ll be away from her. How do I do that? How do any of the guys with kids do that? I don’t get it. I’m afraid I won’t be able to.”

“Quit hockey,” Geno says simply and Sid laughs loud enough to make Eloise turn her head. 

“I can’t do that. I can’t just do that. I don’t want to do that.”

“Then you make work,” Geno says simply. “Not the only working parent out there.”

“I know,” Sid says feeling defensive even though he knows it’s true. He puts down his salad and pulls Eloise back from the edge of the blanket and sits her between the two of them. “Honestly,” Sid says, “hockey's not even what I worry about the most.” 

“What you worry about,” Geno prompts and Sid takes a deep breath. 

“Look, dating was hard before but how am I ever going to find a guy that’s going to be okay with coming second to her and then third behind hockey,” he says in a rush, face burning with embarrassment. “I mean, even after hockey ends,” he continues, ignoring the sharp pain that stabs behind his heart each time he thinks about it, “and I have more spare time they’re still never going to be as important as she is. How do I ask that of someone?”

Geno opens his mouth and Sid shakes his head.

“No, you don’t have to answer that. God, I’m sorry for dumping all that on you. You’re not a therapist or whatever.”

“Do you need one,” Geno asks seriously. “I know some.”

Sid shakes his head and helps Eloise to crawl onto his lap. “The Pens have a guy,” he says then adds another sorry and Geno ducks his head to hide a laugh. 

“Am not laughing at you,” Geno says when he catches Sid’s pink cheeks. “Is just...have no idea you talk so much. I see interviews after games and is like...you know...robot, little bit. Never know you can say so much at once.”

“I’ve been told I can really get going if I’m around people I’m comfortable with and it’s a subject that I’m really interested in. Sorry.”

“I’m not say is bad thing,” Geno says before he pops the rest of his sandwich into his mouth. 

Sid watches him chew for a moment while Eloise squirms to be put down. “You should come to the season opener,” Sid says as he lets Eloise crawl back off his lap. “I can get you tickets if you’d like.”

“Been awhile since I been to game,” Geno admits. “Never go to first game.”

“Then you should come,” Sid says, “how many tickets do you need?”

“Two,” Geno says, “if that’s okay?”

“That’s fine,” Sid tells him, pushing down the dreadful feeling that might be bringing a date. It’s short lived however, because Geno continues on.

“Have a friend,” Geno says, “has wife and two girls, is always saying he needs more guy time.” Geno rolls his eyes. “I’m see him play with dolls and have tea parties. He loves. But I think he would want to go.”

“Cool,” Sid says, “you’ll probably be sitting near my parents, if that’s okay.”

Geno nods and holds his hands out to Eloise as she crawls over. Geno helps her get to her feet and stand. She looks pretty steady and Sid takes his phone out and sets it to record as Geno slowly lets go of her hands.

Her knees buckle almost immediately and Geno catches her before she can hit the ground, scooping her up and cradling her close to his chest.

Geno laughs, face and eyes bright. “Almost,” he tells her, “almost there. You see,” he asks Sid, “she so close.”

“I saw,” Sid says, phone still recording Geno’s smile. 


	8. Chapter 8

“So,” Taylor starts and Sid can tell from her tone that this isn’t going to be a fun conversation. “Is Geno coming tonight?”

“Yes,” Sid answers tightly as their father looks up from the pureed mango mess on Eloise’s highchair. 

“Who is Geno,” he asks. 

“Eloise’s pediatrician.”

“And Sid’s boyfriend,” Taylor adds quickly and Sid groans.

“Boyfriend,” Troy asks and Sid shakes his head.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Sid tells him before looking across the kitchen at Taylor. “Geno is not my boyfriend. He is just Eloise’s doctor.”

“You call your daughter’s doctor by his first name,” Troy asks, sounding puzzled and Taylor points her finger at him like he’s made an excellent point.

“They text, too,” Taylor says, “and last week they went on a date.”

“It wasn’t a date,” Sid snaps and Troy must sense the growing tension because he steps in and tries to play peacemaker.

“Okay,” he says, “it wasn’t a date.”

“Oh,” Taylor says, “it was for sure a date. They had a picnic.”

“Taylor,” Sid groans. 

“I really don’t think your brother’s love life is any of your concern,” Troy says and Sid buries his face in his hands.

Taylor’s face pinches. “Gross,” she says, “don’t phrase it like that.” She looks back to Sid, eyes bright. “I don’t know why you’re fighting this, he’s hot.”

“Taylor, please,” Sid begs.

“If I thought he was even the least bit interested in me I would--.”

“Don’t you have to get to work,” Sid interrupts and Taylor straightens up and looks at the clock on the stove. 

“Oh shit,” she says, flapping an apologetic hand at Eloise, “sorry, don’t ever repeat that, I’m gonna be late.”

Getting a job in the front office means she has to be at the arena before Sid does and Taylor turns and sprints up the stairs so she can get ready. 

Sid shakes his head as she slams her bedroom door and the kitchen falls quiet save for the sound of Eloise’s hands smacking against her highchair, sending mango flying. 

“So,” Troy finally says and Sid closes his eyes and wishes that his mother wasn’t hiding out somewhere in the house. As a hard rule, they don’t speak on game days but this conversation would be slightly less embarrassing if he was having it with her. “Tell me more about this doctor.”

“Dad.”

Troy feigns innocence. “I just want to know about the man responsible for the health of my only granddaughter.” 

“Dr. Malkin is--.”

“You call him Geno.”

Sid takes a deep breath and starts over. “Dr. Malkin is great. He’s great with her. Tanger referred us to him so I knew it would be great.”

“So what you’re saying is that he’s great?”

Sid’s shoulders drop. “Dad.”

“Taylor usually don’t bring things like this up unless they’re serious.”

“It’s not serious.”

“You’re calling your doctor by his first name, you text, you had a picnic.”

“One after another like that, yeah, it sounds bad but that’s really not how it is. When I first came back to Pittsburgh I was alone and a total basket case. I worried constantly, I always thought something was wrong with her. I called the doctor’s office way too much so Dr. Malkin gave me his personal number so I could call him directly with any questions instead of bothering the receptionist. He was someone to talk to, someone to calm me down, so we started texting more. He asked to call him Geno so I did. It’s no big deal.”

Troy nods. “And the picnic?”

“It’s not like it sounds. I brought Eloise grocery shopping with me because I gave the nanny the day off and Taylor had another interview with the Penguins and it was a disaster. She wouldn’t stop crying and we ran into Geno who was just….a miracle worker. He got her to calm down and to thank him I took him out to lunch. We ate outside. That’s it.”

“Taylor asked if he was coming to the game tonight.”

“And I invited him to the game tonight,” Sid adds and Troy nods. “He’s bringing a friend.”

“What kind of friend?”

“I don’t know. A friend. He’s married with kids.”

“So you made sure this friend wasn’t a special friend?”

“Geno offered up that information. Please don’t make this more than what it is.”

“What is it, Sid?”

“Friendship,” Sid says, “at most.”

“And if it ever turned to something more than that--.”

“It won’t.”

“But if it did…” Troy trails off, looking uncertain and Sid sighs. 

“What is it?”

“If it were to be something more,” Troy starts again, “you have to consider Eloise.”

Sid looks at him sharply. “When do I not?”

“I’m just saying, she’s getting older, she’ll start to get attached. If something should happen--.”

“Nothing is even happening now. You know I wouldn’t do anything to hurt her.”

“I know that,” Troy says. He sounds defensive and Sid rolls his eyes, as if his father really thinks he’s the one being attacked. “Look,” Troy says. “Bottom line is that I want you to be happy, always. But things aren’t always going to be easy, you know? That’s all I’m saying.” He stands and looks around for a clean towel to wipe up the mess that Eloise has made but Sid waves him off.

“I’ll take care of it,” Sid tells him, grabbing a cloth out of the drawer by the fridge. 

“I can do it,” Troy insists, “if you need to go get ready.”

“I have time,” Sid says as he throws the cloth over his shoulder and lifts Eloise from the chair. She’s somehow both sticky and slimy and she’s going to need a full bath before Sid dresses her in her new Penguins onesie for the game. 

“Sid,” Troy says, “I just want you to be happy.”

“You said that already.”

“I know, but I want to make sure you really believe it.” 

Sid takes a deep breath as Eloise tangles her fingers into the front of his shirt. “I know,” Sid says as he looks at his father, “I believe you.”

Sid never gets nervous for games. He’s too old, he’s played too many of them, and he’s won everything there is to win. Stepping out onto the ice feels like coming home and it calms any nerves or anxiety that he might have swirling around in him unrelated to hockey. 

Tonight, however, he makes the mistake of checking his phone one last time before he tucks it away into his bag and gets changed for the game. 

He wants to make sure his parents didn’t send him any kind of SOS text about Eloise and finds two texts from Geno instead. 

The first is a photo of him outside the arena while waiting for the doors to open. He’s close to the doors which means he and his friend got there early and that they’ve been waiting for a while. Sid should’ve given their names to security and got them in the back entrance. Maybe next time.

The next message is a text that simply reads _Excited!!! Good luck!!!_

Something heavy settles in Sid’s stomach as he stares down at his phone and reads the words over and over.. 

“You feeling okay,” Tanger asks, bumping their shoulders together when he sits down beside Sid in his stall and Sid drops his phone into his bag.

He’s able to shake off nerves in time for the puck to drop and then natural instincts take over. The Pens take the lead in the first only to lose it in the second but, thanks to Sid’s goal and assist in the third, they get the win. 

It’s such a confidence boost to win the first game of the season and Sid brings the good attitude back into the room with him, answering reporters questions with a smile on his face, especially when they ask about Eloise. 

“Did it feel different having your daughter up in the stands watching,” a reporter asks, “did you feel a little bit of extra pressure?”

Sid laughs and adjusts the cap on his head as sweat drips into his eyes. “A little bit,” he says, knowing full well that’s not where the pre-game jitters had come from. “I honestly don’t know how much she saw. It’s way past her bedtime now.”

Once the press clears out he takes a shower and changes back into his suit before he meets his family out in the hall. 

Eloise is still awake, but just barely. Her eyes are drooping as she rests her head on Trina’s shoulder but she picks it up and holds her arms out for Sid when she sees him. 

He takes her and she immediately presses her face to his neck while his parents congratulate him on a game well won. 

“We met your pediatrician,” Trina says with a wink, looking like she’s about to burst with joy. “Taylor was right, he is very handsome.”

“Mom,” Sid warns and Troy shakes his head. 

“I tried to tell her,” Troy says, “I told her there’s nothing going on.”

“He’s so good with Eloise,” Trina gushes. “I swear she spent most of the time sitting on his lap. It was adorable. I got tons of pictures. I asked him if he wanted to come back here to see you after the game but his friend had to leave. Something about his daughter’s not getting to sleep unless he’s there to tuck them in and you know, it is a school night.” 

“Well,” Sid says, trying to play off the disappointment he feels that Geno couldn't stick around, “I’m glad you like him. It’s important that you like Eloise’s doctor.”

“We love Eloise’s doctor,” Trina says as she loops her arm through Sid’s. “I hope we get to see him again. It’s too bad you’re off on the road for the next week, you could’ve invited him to another game.”

“I bet it would be nice to spend some more time with me too, wouldn’t it?”

“Of course, sweetheart,” Trina says as she pats his arm, “that would have been nice too.”

It’s not until later, when Sid’s back at home and beginning to wind down for bed, that he checks his phone and finds another text from Geno. 

_Had so much fun tonight, thank you for tickets. Was great to meet your parents._

_I’m sorry if they were embarrassing,_ Sid texts back. 

_Not embarrassing at all. Can tell how proud of you they are and how much they love Eloise. Your mom asked me to have lunch sometime this week._

Sid groans and heads down the hall to have another conversation with his mother. 

\--

The team takes off for Edmonton the next morning. 

They give Sid a wide berth on the plane, sensing his sullen mood. 

They play an ugly game the following night but squeak out an OT win. The same can’t be said for the following two games, first in Calgary and then in Vancouver where the Pens lose in an embarrassing fashion. 

Sid does nothing to help the cause. He’s sloppy and quick to anger, taking stupid penalities left and right. He can’t seem to get his head on right or ease into that steady comfort that he always feels when he steps on the ice. He can’t shake the feeling of loneliness that haunts him on every shift. It’s bone deep and takes up room in his head and his heart and it’s a wonder that he even managed to put one skate in front of the other. 

Jen takes pity on him and doesn’t make him talk to the media and he keeps his head down and his shoulders hunched up around his ears as he boards the bus back to the hotel room. 

He doesn’t want to hear his teammates tell him it’s not his fault or listen to their stories about how they miss their own kids.

It won’t help him feel better and it won’t turn back the clock so he can help his team succeed instead of fail. 

Back in his hotel room, he’s set to call home, hoping that his parents are still awake so he can check in, when there’s a soft knock on his door followed by three loud bangs.

“Come on, Sidney,” Tanger calls, “open up.”

“Please,” he hears Horny add and Sid rolls his eyes, pockets his phone, and opens the door. 

They’re standing in the hall in jeans and clean shirts and Tanger rolls his eyes when he sees the worn sweatpants that Sid’s changed into. 

“Get dressed,” he says, pushing past Sid and into the room. He throws open Sid’s suitcase and begins to dig through it. “We’re going out.”

“I’m going to bed,” Sid tells him. “After I call my parents to check on Eloise.”

“They’re all asleep, Sid.”

“Eloise, yeah, but not my parents. It’s not that late.”

“Time zones,” Horny says and Sid shuts his eyes. He had forgotten about that. 

“Then I guess I’m just going to bed,” he says and they both shake their heads and Tanger stands and tosses a pair of jeans and a shirt Sid’s way. 

“No,” Tanger says, “you’re coming out. We all are. We need some team bonding.”

“You sure you want to be seen with me,” Sid asks, throwing the clothes on the bed. “I’ve been playing like shit.”

“Who hasn’t been,” Horny asks, “but there’s nothing we can do about it right now. Let’s go out and have a little fun. It’ll take your mind off...everything.”

“Come on, Sid,” Tanger says, moving to stand beside Horny, “two alternates outrank one captain. You have to do what we say.”

“That’s definitely not how it works,” Sid says but he can feel his resolve crumbling. If there’s one thing he could definitely need right now it’s a drink and going out with his teammates seems significantly less pathetic than getting drunk alone in his hotel room. “Give me ten minutes. I’ll meet you guys downstairs.”

-

The bar the guys pick is louder and more colorful than what Sid would’ve picked for himself but it’s hard to complain when the drinks keep coming and someone else is always offering to pay. 

“Sid,” Shears slurs, leaning over both Jake and Tanger to tap Sid on the arm. “Don’t everyone look at once but that guy over there has been staring at you for a long time.” He points with his entire arm until Jake pushes it down beneath the table. 

“So is the guy by the bar,” Dumo says. 

“And the one over by the bathroom,” Jason adds. 

“I’m not interested,” Sid tells them without looking up. The guys groan. 

“You didn’t even look,” Dumo says and Sid looks up and glances around.

“Happy? I’m still not interested.”

“Are they not your type,” Dumo continues, “because we could find a guy that’s your type. Just look around.”

“What if he’s not into guys,” Sid asks and Dumo rolls his eyes.

“I’d say the odds are in your favor here,” he says and Tanger kicks at his chair and hisses at him to shut up. Dumo presses his lips together as a hush falls over the table. 

“Why would you say that,” Sid asks Dumo, leaning forward. “What’s special about being here?”

No one answers, no one even looks at him so Sid takes the opportunity to glance around. The bar is crowded but he can count the number of women he sees on one hand. 

“Is this a gay bar,” he asks. 

“I mean,” Tanger starts, “why do you have to use labels?”

“It’s just a bar that happens to attract a lot of guys,” Horny adds. “That also like guys.”

“We just wanted to help you out,” Jake says, “you know, make it easier.”

“Make it easier to do what,” Sid asks and Jake shrugs. 

“You know,” he says, looking around the table for help. When it doesn’t come he adds, “to hook up.”

The team groans and Sid shakes his head. “You brought me here to get laid.” He looks at Tanger who is looking down at his half empty beer bottle. “This had nothing to do with team bonding.”

“You’ve just been so tense lately and we know you’re a little homesick,” Rusty says. “We just thought that maybe you could find someone to take your mind off of it for a bit.”

“And then maybe I’d start playing better,” Sid snaps.

“It had nothing to do with how you’re playing,” Tanger says, “you’re playing fine.”

“Well,” Conor says, “it’s not not about that. What?” He blinks at everyone around the table. “I’m not going to lie to him.”

Sid rolls his eyes and pushes his chair away from the table. “Thanks, guys.”

“Why are you so upset,” Tanger asks. “We’re just trying to help you.”

Sid knows that. He knows that they wouldn’t do anything to hurt him and if he wasn’t just a bit drunk and so lonely without his daughter he might be able to laugh about it. But he is drunk and he is lonely so he leaves without saying another word as the guys call after him. 

It’s cooler out on the street and Sid wraps his arms around himself as he walks. He goes down the block and turns the corner and heads straight, only realizing that he doesn’t know exactly where he’s going when it’s too late and he can’t even make it back to the bar. 

He sits down on the steps of a coffee shop that’s closed for the night and presses his back against the bricks, nearly disappearing within the small alcove. 

He takes out his phone, he can Google Maps his way back to the hotel, but before he can open the app he scrolls through his contacts and presses the call button. 

It rings in his ear and when Geno answers his voice sounds thick and fuzzy with sleep. 

“Sid? You okay?”

“Shit,” Sid answers as he yanks the phone away from his ear and ends the call. A few seconds later it rings and Geno’s name flashes across the top of the screen. Eventually it stops, only to start back up again and again and again. 

Sid answers it after the fourth cycle and starts to talk before Geno can get a word in. 

“I’m sorry,” Sid says, “I didn’t mean to call you, go back to sleep.”

“Sid! Don’t make me call you again. You okay?”

Sid nods then remembers Geno can’t see him. “I’m fine. I’m okay. I’m in Winnipeg. Or no, shit, Vancouver? Vancouver, yeah.”

“Don’t sound good, Sid.”

“I’m fine. I—we all went out. I had a bit to drink. You know I’ve barely had as much as a beer since Eloise came home so it’s kind of all going to my head.”

“Make sense,” Geno says. “There reason you call me at three in the morning?”

“Fuck, the time difference. I forgot, again. I really didn’t mean to call you. I just pulled out my phone and next thing I knew you were answering.”

“Okay,” Geno says slowly, as patient as ever. “Now I’m here, you want to talk.”

“No,” Sid says, “I got into a fight with the guys. I was an asshole. I’ve been playing like shit—.”

“Haven’t,” Geno interrupts and Sid’s anger spikes. 

“I don’t need to be babied,” Sid snaps. “I’ve been awful, I know this.”

“Okay,” Geno says, “okay.”

“They brought me to a bar and tried to get me laid because they know I’ve been distracted and sad and they thought I’d—I don’t know they tried to help but I don’t want to sleep with some random guy, I can’t do that.”

“Okay,” Geno says softly. “That’s okay.”

“But I’m dying here, Geno,” Sid continues. He has his fingers wound tightly into his hair. “I’m so lost here. I don’t know what to do. I think sometimes maybe I should just quit and stay home with her. I don’t need the money. I wouldn’t miss anything. I’d get to hear her first word and see her first step and she’d never have to ask why I wasn’t there but I don’t want to quit. I love hockey. I’m good at it, normally, and I still have years left to play but I feel so guilty about that.”

“Sid—.”

“I know, I’m sorry, I’m dumping all this on you. Fuck. Maybe I do need to talk to the team therapist.”

“Just feel bad,” Geno says, “so far away, not a lot I can do to make you feel better.”

“What would you do if you were here?”

“Probably hug you.”

Sid laughs wetly “I’d probably start to cry.”

“Then I just hug you tighter.”

Sid closes his eyes briefly as tears threaten to fall. When he opens them Tanger is standing in front of him, hands stuffed into his pockets and shoulders hunched. 

“I have to go,” Sid says, “thank you for picking up. I’m sorry it’s so late.”

“Is okay, Sid. You going to be okay?”

“Tanger’s here now. I’ll be okay.”

“Drink some water,” Geno says, “and get some sleep. Check in later even if it just a text.”

“Okay,” Sid says, “I will. Bye.” He ends the call and looks up at Tanger. “I like Geno.”

Tanger nods. “I know.”

“I don’t know what to do about it.”

“I know that, too.”

“Can you help me,” Sid asks and Tanger reaches out and squeezes Sid’s shoulder. 

“Of course, man. Anything for you.”


	9. Chapter 9

“Don’t put your feet on my pillow.”

Tanger sighs and bends his legs at his knees so his socked feet are in the air. 

He’s lying on his stomach on Sid’s hotel room bed, propped up on his elbows with Sid’s phone in his hand, typing and deleting and retyping texts to Geno while Sid paces nervously in front of him. 

They’ve been at it for awhile and Sid knows that he’s testing Tanger’s patience, but it has to be the perfect text with the right words and the right tone and those things cannot be rushed. 

“I think you’re overthinking this,” Tanger says after he deletes a particularly long paragraph that Sid had dictated to him. “I really think a simple “ _do you want to have dinner with me?_ ” would be just fine.”

“What if he thinks I’m asking as a friend.”

“Add “ _and then we’ll have sex”_ after it.”

Sid rolls his eyes. “Tanger.”

“Sidney.” 

Sid heaves a sigh and throws his hands up. “I’m horrible at this. Maybe we should just forget it, I mean, this is kind of inappropriate, isn’t it? What am I thinking, just asking him on a date out of the blue?”

Tanger hums and scrolls through the texts that he and Geno have been sending to each other. “I don’t think it’s out of the blue. You two have quite the rapport.” He clears his throat and taps his fingers against the side of the phone, thinking. “So what about this: _thank you for being there for me recently--.”_

“It sounds like I’m writing a thank you note,” Sid interrupts.

“I wasn’t finished,” Tanger snaps. “ _Thank you for being there for me recently, you’re not only a great doctor but a great friend…would you like to get dinner with me when I get back to Pittsburgh._ There. Simple, easy, complimentary.”

“It sounds rehearsed.”

Tanger blinks at him. “What do you think we’ve been doing here, Sid?”

“I know, I know, but it doesn’t sound natural.”

“ _Do you want to go on a date with me,_ ” Tanger says as he types. “Straight forward, to the point, zero room for misinterpretation. I think it’s your best bet.”

“That is way too straight forward.” 

There’s a whooshing sound and Tanger drops the phone on the bed. 

“What was that,” Sid asks as Tanger sits up.

“I sent the text.”

Sid drops to his knees by the foot of the bed and scrambles for the phone, hoping that maybe there was a way to stop it before it went through. But the text is gone. Already delivered but not yet read. 

“What would you do that,” Sid asks as he curls forward and buries his face in the crook of his arm. 

Tanger pats him on the shoulder as he gets to his feet. “Because it had to be done.”

“Not now,” Sid cries, “it’s like, three in the morning back home. He’s gonna think I was up in the middle of the night thinking about him.”

“You were up in the middle of the night thinking about him,” Tanger says as he pulls on his shoes.

Sid lifts his head. “I would’ve sent the text in the morning myself, at a reasonable hour.”

“You wouldn't have. You would’ve chickened out and we’d be right back here tomorrow night. We were running in circles, Sid. I had to put a stop to it.”

Sid whines. “What if this whole thing was a mistake? What if he says no?”

Tanger shrugs. “Then at least you know and you can move on.”

“I’ll have to find a new doctor for Eloise.”

“Nah,” Tanger says as he pulls the keycard for his own room out of his back pocket, “just have the nanny bring her for awhile.”

Sid makes another low, pathetic noise and Tanger steps close enough to haul him to his feet. “Come on, bud,” Tanger says as he sits Sid down on the bed. “He’s not gonna say no.”

Sid stares down at the black phone screen. “I wish I had your confidence.”

Tanger smiles and flicks his hair out of his face. “Most guys do.”

\--

A few hours later Sid’s phone dings. 

He goes from asleep to awake in an instant, thinking that something must be wrong with Eloise because who else would text him this early in the morning. 

He relaxes immensely when he sees it’s from Geno then tenses all the way up again when he remembers the text that Tanger sent. 

He takes a deep breath and opens up the message. 

_Did you mean to send this to me?_

“That’s not good,” Sid whispers to himself. He thinks about getting dressed, or at least throwing on a shirt and wandering down the hall to wake Tanger but it’s so early. He’s sure Tanger would kill him and Eloise needs her father. 

_Yes,_ he replies. Immediately a row of dots pop up meaning that Geno is typing. They disappear and reappear several times before a text actually comes through. 

_You know this is Geno?_

_Yes. I’m sorry it was so late when I texted._

Sid waits and waits and waits some more. There’s no response, not even the grey dots appearing and disappearing to let him know that Geno is trying to respond. Then, suddenly, the phone dings. 

_Yes._

Sid stares down at the word until the screen goes dark then he fumbles with it, fingers slipping and sliding trying to wake it back up again.

_Yes to the date?_ Sid texts and the phone rings in his hand, Geno’s name lighting up the screen. 

“Shit,” Sid says quietly to himself before he takes a deep breath and accepts the call. “Geno?”

“Sid,” Geno says back. Sid can hear the smile in his voice. “Why you awake, is so early there.”

“You texted me,” Sid tells him, “you woke me up. I thought it was something from my parents about Eloise.”

“Shit,” Geno exhales, “didn’t even think. So sorry to scare.”

“It’s okay, it’s all right. I’m glad it was you. Why are you awake so early?”

“On the way to the gym,” Geno says and Sid’s mind flashes to Geno, sweaty in tight leggings. “Checked phone and had to make sure you meant to text me. Should let you go back to sleep now. Have game today, yes?”

“Practice,” Sid tells him. “There’s a game tomorrow.”

“Then I should let you sleep for practice,” Geno says, “can talk more at later hour, okay?”

“No, not okay,” Sid says, feeling more confident now. “You never answered my question.”

“Your question,” Geno says and Sid can hear the smile in his voice. 

“Yeah, do you want to go out with me? On a date.”

“Yes, Sid,” Geno says. It sounds like his smile has burst. “Would like that very much.”

-

Hours later, at breakfast, Horny approaches him looking more timid than Sid has ever seen him. 

“We just wanted you to know that you have our full support,” Horny says. He’s twisting a bottle of orange juice in his hands, spinning the cap off and on over and over again. “We all know how hard it is to be away from family and we fucked up, we should’ve known better that you wouldn’t be into some random guy at a bar and--.”

“All right,” Sid says, putting Horny (and the guys behind him) out of their misery. “It’s okay.” He lets Horny pull him into a rough hug. 

Horny slaps him on the back a few times but doesn’t let him go. “If you ever need to talk,” Horny tells him, “we don’t ever want you to feel like you’re alone.”

“Well...” Sid says when Horny releases him.

He tells the guys about Geno and their future date and Tanger preens and takes responsibility for all of it.

“If it wasn’t for me you wouldn’t have even sent the text asking him. Technically you didn’t send the text, I did.” 

Sid concedes that Tanger does have a point and Tanger grins.

“You can thank me by naming your second born after me. Unless Geno wants to name them something Russian.”

-

Four days later Sid is back in Pittsburgh with two wins, five points, and plans to meet up with Geno the following night. 

He promptly forgets about each accomplishment (as exciting as they may be) as soon as he flings open the front door and drops his bags.

It’s not late, not really, but it’s late enough for Eloise to already be asleep and when Sid passes his mother in the kitchen Trina puts both hands on her hips. 

“Don’t you wake that baby, Sidney, I swear.”

He pauses, briefly, to kiss her cheek then turns and takes the stairs two at a time.

Eloise is fast asleep in her crib, her mobile still spinning slowly above her. The glow from her night light shines just enough that Sid can see her chest rising and falling and the way both hands are clenched into tiny fists as she dreams. 

She looks bigger now than when he last saw her, like she grew and she aged and Sid knows that’s impossible, he wasn’t even gone for a week and he’s been flooded with pictures and videos from his parents and Taylor and Lauren the entire time but still... 

He was gone for a week and that was a whole week of her life that he’ll never get back and he knows that it’s only the first of many. 

He reaches over the side of the crib and slides his hands beneath her body and lifts her up. She fusses, clenched fists beat lightly against his chest as he tucks her beneath her chin. 

Sid soothes her, bending his knees and bouncing just enough to get her to settle. It doesn’t take long before her breathy little cries quiet and she falls back to sleep. 

“Good girl,” Sid whispers as he presses a kiss to the top of Eloise’s head and takes a deep breath. She smells like baby shampoo and Sid almost feels like crying when he thinks about how much he missed her. He lowers himself to the floor, his back against the crib, and brings his knees up so he can hold her more securely. Right now he doesn’t ever want to let her go. 

He only looks away from her when he sees a shadow pass over them and when he looks up, Trina is standing in the doorway with her arms crossed. 

“She didn’t wake up,” Sid tells her, “not really.”

His mother’s arms drop as she steps into the room. She grabs the rocking chair and pulls it closer to them before she sits down. 

“How was your trip,” she asks and Sid shrugs as Eloise drools onto his dress shirt.

“Who cares,” he answers and Trina laughs softly.

“It won’t always be that hard to leave,” she tells him, “you’ll get used to it.”

“I don’t want to get used to it,” he mumbles. He hates the thought of being numb to it more than he hates the thought of hurting. “Was she good? I didn’t get any bad news so--.”

“There was no bad news. She’s an angel, you know this.”

Sid hums and kisses Eloise’s downy hair again. 

“Taylor wanted to take her to the doctor,” Trina says and Sid’s head snaps up. “Eloise was a little fussy but I suspect Taylor wanted to see Dr. Malkin more than she thought that Eloise needed to.” Trina reaches over and lays a hand on Sid’s shoulder. :Eloise settled down,” she assures, “she’s just fine.” Her hand falls away as she sighs. “Although I will admit, I was a little disappointed not to see Dr. Malkin again.”

“Mom,” Sid gasps and Trina laughs.

“Not that I wanted anything to be wrong with her,” she explains, “but well...he is very handsome.”

“About that,” Sid says slowly, “would it be any trouble for you and Dad to babysit tomorrow night. It’ll be later, I’ll put her to bed and everything, I just need someone here for after.”

“Where else would we be,” she asks. “Where will you be?”

“I have plans,” Sid tells her. “Dinner plans. With Geno.”

Trina’s eyebrows knit together. “That’s Dr. Malkin, isn’t it?”

Sid nods and Trina grins. “Don’t make a big deal of it,” Sid tells her, “and don’t tell Taylor if you can help it. She’ll just…” He sighs. “You know how she is.”

“She’d be excited for you,” Trina says. “And she’s going to find out eventually, isn’t she? Unless this is just some casual thing.”

“It’s not,” Sid says a little too loudly and Eloise begins to stir. Sid lowers his voice. “It’s not like that. I think…” He trails off and thinks for a moment. “I think that it couldn't be like that with him. I like him and I want to get to know him and I want to do it without pressure or jokes.”

“You know she doesn’t do it to be cruel.”

“I know,” Sid says, and he really does, “and I’m sure I’ll find it very funny someday down the road but now...I just want to go to dinner.”

Trina nods. “I understand,” she tells him before she grins and pokes at Sid’s shoulder. “It’ll be nice to have a doctor in the family.”

Sid rolls his eyes and tips his head back against the crib.


	10. Chapter 10

Sid spends the following day with Eloise in his arms, only putting her down or handing her off to one of his parents or Taylor when he absolutely has to. 

It’s like he’s trying to make up a week's worth of missed cuddles in a handful of hours and he thinks, briefly, of contacting Geno and asking him to cancel or postpone because he’s not sure he can leave Eloise, even though she’ll already be tucked in for the night.

But he’s sure that would disappoint his mother, who he knows is looking forward to having a doctor for a son-in-law and he’s positive that Tanger would kill him after everything that went down to even make the date happen. 

And, if he’s being honest with himself, he doesn’t want to cancel, even if that makes him feel a little bit guilty about leaving. It’s possible for him to want two things at once, even if those two things can’t happen at the same time. He can’t be on a date with Geno and be with Eloise all at once. At least not for now. 

The plan is that Sid will go to Geno’s for dinner because Sid will be recognized in any restaurant in a thirty to forty mile radius of Pittsburgh. That’s always going to happen, that’s always going to be a constant and even if Sid was _out_ , and people were accepting, they would still get interrupted during their meal with fans asking for autographs and photographs and it’s too much for a first date. It’s enough to scare Geno away and that’s the last thing he wants.

He wants a quiet night in and tonight that will happen at Geno’s but maybe, in the future, Geno can come to his place, after Sid’s parents have gone back home and Taylor has her own place and Eloise will be asleep upstairs while they drink wine and cook and laugh but Sid will be there, if she happens to need anything.

Then maybe, some time after that, they can have dinner with Sid’s parents and his sister and maybe the rest of the team. 

But he’s getting ahead of himself. They haven’t even had their first date yet. 

Trina kept her promise not to tell Taylor, but Sid never said anything about not telling his father and that little slip up makes itself clear when Troy pushes himself up from the armchair in the living room just after six and turns to Taylor who is curled up on the couch.

“Let’s go out,” he says, “just you and me.”

Taylor, who has her hand deep in a bag of Doritos, looks at him like he’s crazy. “Now?”

“Yeah, we’ll go out to dinner. You know all the good spots, don’t you?”

Taylor looks down at the bag of Doritos and then up at Troy. “I don’t know, I guess. You’ve probably spent more time in the city over the years than I have.”

“But you live here now. You should show me around your city, let me see it through your eyes.”

Taylor narrows hers. “Who are you right now?”

“A father who wants to spend time with his daughter now that she’s officially left the nest,” Troy says, “and the country.”

That seems to do it because Taylor slowly untucks her legs and puts the chip bag on the coffee table. “Okay,” she says, voice still full of suspicion. “What about Mom and Sid?”

“I’m not very hungry,” Trina says from the other end of the couch. Her eyes don’t even lift from the book she’s been reading. “You two go out and have fun.”

“And I have to put Eloise down for the night,” Sid says from where he’s been hovering in the kitchen, Eloise still in his arms.

“Are you going to actually be able to put her down or are you going to climb into the crib beside her,” Taylor teases. “I guess I’ll go get changed and we’ll head out,” she tells her father before she heads for the stairs.

Sid waits until he hears her clear the top landing before he sighs. “That was heavy handed.”

“It worked, didn’t it,” Troy tells him. “I get to spend time with my daughter and you can get ready for your date in peace.”

“Get ready,” Sid questions, “I just have to give Eloise a bath and put her to bed.”

“You don't think you should change?”

Sid looks down at his outfit. He’s in jeans and a t-shirt, both clean, or they would be after he scrubbed the spot of mashed sweet potato off the shirt. 

“Do you think I need to?”

Trina heaves a sigh and puts her book down. “Sidney, really.”

—

Forty-five minutes later Troy and Taylor are gone, Eloise has been fed, bathed, and put to bed and Sid steps out of his bathroom, freshly showered and in dress pants and a fresh sweater. 

Trina smiles when he sees him, hands cupped around a hot mug of tea in the kitchen. 

“I feel like it’s school picture day,” Sid says as he pulls at the sleeves of his sweater, “and you’re telling me what to wear.”

“I just want to make sure you don’t step out of the house in Pens gear.”

Sid stops and narrows his eyes. “Have you been talking to Tanger?”

Trina cocks her head to the side and Sid shakes his head. 

“Sorry, that just sounds like something he would say.” He takes a deep breath and tries to work loose some nerves. “Do I look okay?”

“You look wonderful,” she tells him, “very handsome. Dr. Malkin won’t know what to do with himself.”

—

Geno lives in a quiet, little neighborhood about twenty minutes from Geno’s office and thirty minutes from Sid’s house. 

Geno had told him what to look for, just in case Sid’s GPS decided to act up. A red brick house with dark accents and a small front stoop with a Penguins flag hanging by the front door. 

He could tell that Geno had been embarrassed to admit that last detail, even via text, but Sid had been charmed and in the dark, the flag is one of the only details that sticks out, waving gently in the wind. 

There’s enough room in Geno’s short driveway for two cars so Sid parks behind Geno’s SUV and gets out, barely remembering to grab the bottle of wine he brought along as the nerves begin to set in again. 

Halfway up the walk the front door opens and Geno steps out into the golden glow of the porch light. 

“You found it,” he says with a smile and Sid nods. 

“You gave good directions,” Sid says as he tips his head toward the flag. 

Geno blushes and steps back inside the house, beckoning Sid to follow. 

Geno asks for Sid’s coat just inside the door and hangs it on a spare hook on the wall. 

Sid awkwardly hands over the bottle of wine and says that he hopes it’ll pair well with dinner. 

Geno smiles at the bottle then turns it on Sid. “Will be great,” he tells him, “come in, dinner almost ready.”

Geno turns and walks further into the house and Sid pauses, eyes sweeping down Geno’s body before they settle on Geno’s socked feet. 

Sid toes off his own shoes before he follows. 

The inside of Geno’s house is warm and cozy with thick area rugs over the hardwood floors and frame photos on the wall. 

They pass through the living room on the way to the kitchen. It looks comfortable, with a deep leather couch, big enough for Geno to stretch out on. There’s an crocheted afghan over the back and a small, black and white cat curled up on the arm. 

The living room opens to the kitchen which opens to the dining room. 

There are pots on the stove and a cutting board on the small center island with carrot tops and celery ends and the dining table is fully set with plates and glasses and lit candles. There’s a basket with bread beside a dish with a stick of softened butter and there’s a bottle of wine…

Sid should’ve brought something else. Geno already thought of wine, he picked it out just like he picked out everything else. The tablecloth and the napkins and the candles...he put so much work into this after Sid was the one that asked _him_ to dinner. He had to prepare a meal and set a table because he wanted to see Sid all because Sid didn’t want to go to a restaurant and be seen with him. 

The guilt hits Sid like a wave but Geno seems unaffected as he lines up a corkscrew at the opening of the bottle and begins to twist. 

“I’m sorry,” Sid says, “I am so sorry.”

Geno hums and looks up just as the cork slips free with a loud pop. 

“What?”

“I’m sorry for making you do all this. I don’t know what I was thinking. I asked you out, this isn’t right, this isn’t what a first date should be. A first date should be dinner—.”

“Am making dinner,” Geno interrupts and Sid shakes his head. 

“Our. Dinner out.”

“You say you don’t want to go out.”

“Yes, that’s the point. It should be dinner out at a restaurant then we go to a movie or a museum or an art gallery, something, I don’t know. I don’t know what people do on dates now, I don’t do it much.”

“Yes,” Geno says with a small laugh as he grabs two glasses out of the cabinet to his left and pours the wine. “Is obvious.”

“I just think that maybe it’s unfair for someone like me to ask someone like you to date me,” Sid says and Geno picks up one of the glasses. 

“Someone like you,” he repeats as he takes a sip. “You mean dad or hockey player.”

“Both, I think.”

Geno nods and takes a sip. “You trying to change your mind or my mind right now?”

“Excuse me?”

“If you don’t want this anymore—.”

“Of course I want this,” Sid interrupts. “I asked you out, remember?”

Geno nods. “And I said yes, remember?”

“I’m just saying,” Sid continues, “I don’t think you thought this through. I’m away a lot, I’ll miss things. Holidays, birthdays...when is your birthday?”

“End of July,” Geno says flatly and Sid nods. 

“Okay, so, I can make that one work but Thanksgiving—Canadian and American. New Year’s. Christmas—yeah, sure, but not Valentine’s Day. I can’t guarantee it.”

“Don’t care about Valentine’s Day, Sid.”

“That’s what you say now,” Sid tells him before he barrels on. “I get hurt sometimes and I can’t play and that makes me hard to be around, or so I’ve heard. I don’t doubt it, though. I can be pretty single minded about hockey. There will be times when it seems like it’s all I can think about. And Eloise. I’ll definitely be single minded about her. She is the most important thing, I will always put her first.”

“Is what I expect,” Geno says patiently. “You forget where I work? Everyday I see parents come in who would die for their kid. Is how it is supposed to be.” He puts the wine glass down then leans forward on the island, palms pressed to the surface. “You are special, Sid, but you are not much different from any other parent.”

“It won’t be easy to be with me,” Sid says softly. “Who says? How you know?”

“Experience,” Sid answers, “or lack thereof. I don’t want you to regret this,” Sid says, “I don’t want to start something and I don’t want Eloise to grow up with you and fall in love with you and then suddenly you’re not there. That would kill me. And then, honestly, I would probably have to kill you.”

Geno laughs and Sid can’t seem to stop the corners of his mouth from twitching up. 

“Is fair enough,” Geno says, “but is not in my plans to leave like that. Or at all.” He leans forward, dropping his elbows onto the island and if Sid were to lean forward, just a bit, he could meet him in the middle. “You say you don’t do this much? Me neither. Haven’t been on a date in months.”

“How many months?”

Geno takes a moment to think. “Four? Maybe five.”

Sid snorts. “That’s nothing.”

“How long for you then?”

“However old Eloise is to the day plus another six months, easy.”

Geno’s eyebrows raise, just slightly. 

“Does that bother you,” Sid asks and Geno shakes his head.

“Just a little bit surprised.”

“Before Eloise,” Sid starts, “the whole process of the adoption, the worry and the stress...one had fell through before and all I could think about was that happening again and getting my hopes up only to have them be torn down again. Plus I still had hockey to play on top of that. And then after Eloise….well...you saw how crazy I was. I think this is the first time I’ve done something that was one hundred percent for myself and didn’t have anything to do with hockey or Eloise.”

“How you feel about that?”

“Guilty,” Sid says honestly. “But good. I want this...with you.” He slides his hand across the island into Geno’s space, palm up. 

Geno doesn’t waste time, he doesn’t leave Sid hanging, he just slides his hand right over Sid’s and laces their fingers together. He brings their joined hands to his lips and presses a featherlight kiss over Sid’s knuckles and Sid tenses.

“Okay,” Geno asks, looking up at Sid through thick lashes.

Sid nods and takes a moment to find his voice. “It’s fine. It’s just been awhile since anyone has kissed me.”

“You want more,” Geno asks, giving Sid’s hand a squeeze.

“Before dinner?”

“Before dinner,” Geno says with a nod, “during dinner, after dinner. Whenever you want, for as long as you want.”

He blooms in Sid’s chest at the thought, at the promise, and when he nods Geno’s shy smile grows into something more confident.

He lets go of Sid’s hand, which definitely wasn't what Sid wanted, but the disappointment is short-lived as Geno steps around the island and Sid spins on the stool to face him. 

He steps between Sid’s knees and cradles Sid’s face in his warm hand and leans down and Sid blurts out:

“I kept the lollipops.”

Geno pulls back with a frown. “What?”

“The lollipops you gave me,” Sid explains. He settles his hands on Geno’s waist to keep him close. He doesn’t want to lose the heat of him. “After Eloise’s appointments. I kept them. I didn’t eat them. I couldn’t.”

Geno still looks puzzled. “Why?”

“I don’t know,” Sid says with a slightly wild laugh. “I don’t know. You were just so nice and sweet and I just wanted something to remember you by. It was stupid. It’s not like I wouldn’t be seeing you every few months anyways.” He shrugs. “They’re on my dresser at home.”

Geno laughs, softly, and drops his forehead down so it rests against Sid’s and Sid tightens his hold on Geno’s waist.

“Can get you more,” Geno tells him, “have whole drawer full at work.”

“It’s not the same, those are special.”

“You are special.”

“You said that before,” Sid teases. His fingers curl into the soft fabric of Geno’s sweater. “You also said that you would kiss me.”

“Was going to,” Geno defends as he pulls back. “Then you talk about lollipops. Anything else you want to talk about?” Sid grins and spreads his legs a little bit wider so Geno can step closer between them until their bodies are flush. “What’s your cat's name?”

Geno opens his mouth like he’s going to answer then rolls his eyes and snaps it shut. “Later,” Geno says as he leans down and brushes his lips against Sid’s, “will tell you later.”


	11. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five Years Later

Caught up in a gust of wind, Sid has to dart back and catch the front door before it slams. He shuts it, slowly, and locks it, then drops his bag and rolls his shoulders, his suit jacket pulling tight across his back as he moves. He can’t wait to take it off.

He loosens his tie as he walks through the kitchen, pausing to flip the light off above the stove in and close a cabinet door that was left open.

The rest of the house is quiet and dark except for the soft glow spilling out of the den and the faint sound of a broadcaster rehashing the game on the TV.

Geno is on his back on the couch, softly snoring, with Eloise stretched out over his chest. Geno has one hand on her back, holding her in place and the other is dangling over the side, reaching for the fallen remote. 

Felix is curled up by Geno’s head, his tail flicking into Geno’s face as he kneads the pillow that Geno is sleeping on. When Sid steps into the room he is the only one that seems to notice.

The cat stands and arches his back into a deep stretch before he hops up onto the back of the couch and walks over to Sid. Sid holds his hand out and Felix pushes his head into his palm, purring as Sid scratches beneath his chin. 

“Hey bud,” Sid whispers, “I missed you.”

Felix chirps then jumps down off the couch. He stretches again then wanders out of the room and down the hall and Sid turns his full attention to Geno and his daughter. 

He wants to let them sleep, Eloise has school in the morning and Geno has been taking on more patients so he seems perpetually tired as of late but he knows Geno’s back will not hold up to spending a whole night on the couch.

Plus, he hasn’t seen them in a week and he would very much like to kiss them hello. 

Sid retrieves the remote from the floor and turns the TV off then he crouches down beside Geno and gently shakes his shoulder.

Geno wakes with a start, body jerking as he tightens his hand on Eloise and sits up just enough to get a mouthful of her blonde curls.

Eloise continues to sleep peacefully. 

“It’s okay,” Sid whispers as he slides his hand across Geno’s shoulder, “it’s just me. I’m home.”

Geno turns his head and looks at him with wild eyes before they soften in recognition.

“Sid,” he whispers back with a smile that quickly slips to a frown. “Sid,” he says as he lifts the hand that’s not holding onto Eloise to the side of Sid’s face.

Sid flinches at the contact. The skin is still tender and sore but he’s sure it looks worse than it feels. 

“She get upset,” Geno says as his hand falls to the unblemished skin of Sid’s neck.

“She saw?”

Geno nods. “Of course. We always watch. It hurt?”

Sid shrugs. Getting a stick to the face is never fun, especially when it’s friendly fire, but he’s used to it by now and Jake was very apologetic. 

“I’ll live,” Sid tells him as he lays his hand over Geno’s on Eloise’s back. “You should both be in bed.”

Geno nods and starts to sit up and Eloise stirs, her hands fisting in the front of Geno’s shirt as she opens her eyes. 

“Daddy,” she asks softly and her lip begins to tremble when she focuses on the bruised side of Sid’s face. “Daddy.”

“I’m okay,” Sid assures her, “I’m all right, I promise. It was just a little accident, the doctors looked me over and they said I’d be just fine.”

Eloise’s chin wobbles as she looks up at Geno, the only doctor that she knows, and Geno nods sagely. 

“Is true,” he tells her, “is nothing to worry about, he’s okay.”

Eloise nods but her eyes are still watery and when Sid holds his arms out she falls into them. 

“Oh, sweetheart,” Sid says as she buries her face into his shoulder. “I’m okay,” he says again, “I’m all right, I missed you.”

He feels Eloise nod but she stays quiet and Sid holds her until she’s drifted off again, breathing slow and steady against the side of his neck.

“I should put her to bed,” Sid tells Geno and Geno shakes his head.

“I should put her to bed,” he says as he extricates Eloise from Sid’s arms. She settles easily against Geno’s chest without waking. “You should take a shower,” he continues then leans in and whispers into Sid’s ear. “Get undressed, get clean, meet me in bedroom, let me welcome you back the right way.”

It was late and Sid was tired and sore but he had missed Geno so much...there’s no way Sid could turn him down. 

“I’ll be quick,” Sid tells him and Geno smiles and presses a kiss to Sid’s cheek, featherlight over the bruise. 

Sid follows Geno up the stairs, his fingers tangled in the back of Geno’s shirt the whole time. He goes left while Geno and Eloise go right and Sid begins to strip out of his suit before he hits the bedroom. 

In the shower, Sid stands beneath the spray that’s a bit too hot. He washes himself, _thoroughly,_ so he’s prepared for _anything_ , then turns the water off and steps out. He dries off, _barely,_ and wraps a towel about his waist before he steps into the bedroom.

Geno is sitting on the edge of the bed, his elbows on his knees and his head hanging. He looks exhausted, both physically and mentally.

“Are you okay,” Sid asks from across the room and Geno looks up.

“Am fine,” Geno tells him with a sleepy smile. “Come here.”

Sid crosses the room steps between Geno’s spread knees.Geno rubs his thumbs across Sid’s knees before he slides his hands up beneath the towel, fingers pressing into the muscle of his thighs as he leans forward and mouths at Sid’s hip. 

“Missed you,” Geno whispers as Sid tangles his fingers in Geno’s hair. “Glad you’re back.”

Sid hums as Geno’s hands continue their path up his thighs. “Missed you, too.” 

Geno heaves a sigh and Sid’s fingers curl as he pulls Geno’s head back from where he’s been kissing the soft skin just below Sid’s bellybutton.

“We don’t have to,” Sid says, “if you’re too tired.”

“Not too tired,” Geno answers as he tries to dip his head back down to taste Sid’s skin. 

“Or if there’s something bothering you,” Sid says, “we can talk about it.”

“Is nothing,” Geno tells him, “is not a big deal.”

“That means that there is something then.”

“Can wait,” Geno says and whatever Sid is about to say is abandoned for a groan when Geno presses his fingertips up behind Sid’s balls.

“Okay,” Sid stutters out, “now I just think you’re trying to distract me from something bad.”

Geno sighs again and drops his hands. Sid whines.

“I didn’t say you had to stop,” he says and Geno leans forward and rests his forehead against Sid’s stomach. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“Picked Eloise up from school today,” Geno starts. “Last appointment cancelled so I thought it would be nice.”

Sid nods and pets his hand through Geno’s hair, silently encouraging him to continue.

“But I’m not you or Lauren so they question, you know?”

“They didn’t give you a hard time, did they? You’re on all the official forms, you’re allowed to pick her up.”

Geno lifts his head. “Was okay, they just ask for ID and then they ask Eloise, you okay to go home with him.”

Sid nods. He can’t see the problem so far. It all seems very safe and understandable.

“And she say, _yes, that’s my Papa._ ”

Geno says it like it’s supposed to mean something and Sid still doesn’t get it. 

“She calls you Papa all the time,” he tells Geno. It would be hard for him to remember a time when she called him anything different. 

“Yes,” Geno says slowly. “But not in public. Not around so many people. Not so loud.”

“Oh,” Sid says, _“oh.”_ He steps out from between Geno’s knees and sits down beside him. “Oh.”

“People looked,” Geno says, “people heard and people know.”

“Okay,” Sid says back. “Okay, well, that’s okay. I mean...this is how I thought it was going to go anyways, remember? She was excited to see you, you were doing a nice thing.”

“But people _know.”_

“I don’t care,” Sid says. He’s shocked to realize that he really means it. “They probably already knew. It’s not like we hide it. We’ve been seen together all over the city. The zoo, the park, skating. I doubt people think you’re just my good friend and they know you’re not the nanny.”

They’ve never hid who they are to each, especially not in front of Eloise and they’ve never asked her to tone down any affection to Geno. She treats him exactly as she treats Sid, like a father. 

“You not mad,” Geno asks and Sid huffs a laugh. 

“Of course not.” He leans in and kisses Geno’s cheek. “How could I be mad at you? You were doing something nice for Eloise, for your daughter. I’ll never be upset about that.” 

He kisses Geno’s cheek again then moves to stand so he can get dressed but Geno grabs a hold of his wrist and pulls him back down. 

“About that,” Geno says. He reaches for Sid’s hand and holds it between both of his own. “Was thinking...maybe is time to make that official.”

“You want to adopt her,” Sid says softly and Geno nods.

“We talk about it before,” Geno says and Sid nods. That’s always been the plan for the future, once Sid calmed down enough to accept that Geno wasn’t going anywhere and that he was in this, with the both of them, forever. “You think Eloise would want?”

“Of course she would,” Sid assures him, “but I thought we talked about that happening after we got married?”

Geno takes a deep breath and things click into place for the second time for Sid.

“Oh,” Sid says breathlessly, “are you--.”

“Yes,” Geno interrupts as he slides off the bed to drop down onto one knee. “I don’t have a ring--.”

“I don’t need one,” Sid says at the same time Geno continues with “but I’ll get one.”

There’s a beat of silence as they stare at each other before they both break, laughing and falling toward one another, Sid’s forehead pressing against Geno’s shoulder.

“Shhh,” Geno soothes as he wraps an arm around Sid’s back while Sid shakes against him. He is so tired and so in love with this man. “Don’t be loud, don’t wake Eloise.”

Sid presses his lips together and nods, looking far too overserious which makes Geno start to laugh again. Sid kisses him quiet.

“A summer wedding,” Sid says against Geno’s lips. “Here or Cole Harbour?”

“Either,” Geno says, “both. Wherever you want to be I’ll go.”

Sid’s eyes slide shut as the love washes over him. They should have done this years ago. He should have proposed the day they met. 

“Lollipops for wedding favors,” Geno says and Sid groans and presses his face into Geno’s shoulder. 

“I’m never going to live that down, am I?”

“Was cute,” Geno tells him. He kisses the side of Sid’s head and Sid leans back and looks up at him. “You know, you never really answer. Will you marry me?”

Sid smiles and loops his arms around Geno’s neck. 

“I’ll tell you later,” Sid says before he leans in for a kiss. 


End file.
